Ages Unfolding

Lighthouse

2012-01-26T05:17:00.000-08:00

i came across

patched up lands, and distant moors

as foreign to me as the tip of a traveler's tongue

from above

signals waved as i

lonely as ever

stopped to wait for you

there might not be many words to explain this, no

but in strange lonely lands

are where you find yourself

whether in rain or hurricanes

photographs and maps

you get lost, and then you know

that you are looking for something

not desired, not wanted, but needed

high above, down below

beneath electric skies

you will realise that this is all

you might ever need

but you will want more

and with signals flashing

my heavy heart returns to you

as steady as the midwestern seas

Oblivious

2011-06-30T08:26:00.000-07:00

poetry.

living, breathing, dancing on my tongue

away into the dark, dark night.

my heart yearns for something

more than i have

stripped away by the years

that flew past me so fast.

sometimes i revisit these scenes

slow, rewinding, slow, pausing

rediscovering the things

i never saw.

simple looks, soft touches

magnified now; funny how it all

makes sense in your grown up mind.

but no, that was the past.

over too soon, but gone.

can you ever have it back?

poetry.

burning, seeping.

dancing away like a blown out candle.

Boats and Birds

2011-06-03T19:41:00.001-07:00

if you be my star

i'll be your sky

you can hide underneath me and come out at night

when i turn jet black

and you show off your light

i live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me

never come back if you find another galaxy

far from here with more room to fly

just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat

i'll be your sea

the depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity

ebbing and flowing

and pushed by a breeze

i live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to

pass the horizon till i cant even see you

far from here where the beaches are wide

just leave me your wake to remember you by

Out From Age

2011-05-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

would you watch the sunset with me

misty ball hovering over the horizon

where the world will slowly

be covered in darkness?

and then lets lay in the sand for a bit

talk about things on the surface

lapping our soft legs in the surf

greater things yet unfolding

maybe watch the moon rising

from its waking place

red with sleep

and full with age

progress to talk about

love, life, family, ties

connections with people

that matter to you, long gone

stare as the stars slowly blank out

revealing a much darker sky

but a foggy sense

that the night is ending

opening about our feelings

long before we'd ever met

how we'd waited for each other

and how we'd lost each other

slowly see the sun rising

soft repeat, slow release

and i tuck a strand of hair behind my failing ears

as we slowly wave our wrinkled hands goodbye

Bright Lights

2011-05-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

last night, i walked by a house

with colourful lights.

the lights blinded me

with such familiarity

i could just stop and notice.

the world is constantly moving.

i know this from past experiences.

but sometimes, just certain things

carry you up, bring you around

to the place that made you now.

last night, i walked by a house

with colourful lights.

the lights blinded me

but i couldnt help but notice

waves crashing along the shoreline

as i walked hand in hand

with you

naming the stars of the southern cross.

the very next day

i walked to the beach

and drew my name on the sand.

the waves came dutifully

and washed the lines away.

i stared for a minute

at the fading twilight

as i slowly trudged back

alone, alone in my thoughts.

that night, i passed a house

with the brightest lights i'd seen

and i thought to myself

that maybe, just maybe

one day

i would find a house for myself

to call home.

Children

2011-05-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

alone to my thoughts again.

let me pen it down for you.

june twenty-second.

how does it feel?

lost, maybe, dazed, confused in a state

of sadness and frustration

what do - did - i really want?

nope. i dont think i knew back then.

or even now. so help me.

am i not capable of thinking for myself?

how did my words escape me?

lets start all over again.

pen this down all over again.

june twenty-fourth.

a month and a half of a gaping wound.

i never thought i'd see this through.

i expected much worse, yes,

but i feel much worse than i thought.

people come and go, i am well aware

but i cant seem to find you anymore.

a sea of people, they all say?

maybe that's how confusion comes about.

left aside a cold stone for both of us.

life's that way, people take, people go.

and people come in between.

june twenty-nineth.

where have you gone?

my mind's out cold, i've waited for you.

you were the world to me.

well, i guess you're gone.

see, love is a strange thing.

i know i could learn to love you right.

but i love you too much to try again.

one day, we'll look back at this

and realise how childish we really are.

Starlight

2011-05-10T06:53:00.001-07:00

there are stars all around us

twinkling streetlights down below

as we travel at the speed of light

with you by my side

constant companion, almost lover

but my eyes are filled with

nothing except your starlight

the sky expands before us

all too soon, day will be upon us

and these stars will disappear

as i rest safely in your magic

wishing these nights will never fade

down below, a string of reality pulls me

but i dont fall, no

your starlight is ever present

and i fall safely

into the stats that surround us

completely.

On Your Love

2011-04-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

in the darkening twilight

i sit by my window

watching the stones grow cold

a fragment of my mind

grows frost all over the windowpane

thinking of the love i'd lost

it feels so hollow now

grass growing dead around the porch

front lights flickering

a breeze picks up

and carries my wounded pieces

over the plains of sunset

for you i would bleed

as the day turns to night

in between tides of beating hearts

People Like Rain

2010-08-25T04:58:00.000-07:00

people are like rain.

they come and go at the most unexpected times.

torrential downpours are like strangers.

they can never leave you alone.

when a raindrop first touches your skin

you know something is wrong.

i guess people are like the rain;

you never know what they really are.

it never lasts long.

over a period of silence and bliss

and suddenly it hits.

you don't know what hit you.

its the rain.

and now its raining people over me.

tragedies washing over me

as i discover what people and rain

truly are beneath the surface.

Growing Up

2010-07-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

you weave yourself to fit into her stories

night turns into day

coffee flips backwards up

winding and winding staircases

you can fit houses and buildings

into her suitcase

and possess the north wind

all in your pocket

skydive without a parachute

make music without a guitar

and all the geese flying in slow motion

hot air balloons stopping in mid air

its as real as can be

drawings and words and paperwork

playing tag on a winter's night

but now all thats left

is the spilt coffee

uncleaned steps

my age catching up

i always knew your stories

were too good to be true

Growing Old

2010-05-26T05:55:00.000-07:00

i am a stargazer.

i map out the stars

put it into patterns, formations

stories, guides

bright beams and points of the sky

so that i'll never lose myself.

my eyes reflect the stars.

there's a brightness; twinkle

everyone seems to see.

as i stargaze i wonder

if people could see the map of the stars

reflected in my eyes.

but now i am an astronomer.

calculative, always at the telescope

ready, an eye for change.

the universe is ever-changing.

i feel lost, insignificant.

no one ever says anything about my eyes.

i tried looking for those stars i saw

through those eyes

in that lonely deserted field

with only candy corn and a blanket for company.

those days seem lost in the universe

as if change had come so rapidly.

i tried looking for that field again.

but i was too busy, caught up with work

to notice a new school

had taken its position

blocking my stars in an unfriendly way.

i slung my handbag around my shoulder,

and remembered the crackled comfort of my schoolbag.

Best Friends

2010-05-14T19:17:00.001-07:00

we owned the world quietly

rooftops at night

sea by morning

floating in each other's company

and there were people, of course

telling us we resembled

two mated penguins; a pair of mandarin ducks

but we refused to believe

until the day you left

so cold and dry was my mind

cracked along the surface;

damaged in the depths

when would you come back?

so people come and go

not quite you

still in the shallow pits of my aching heart

i longed for you to be found

how great was the day

i ran into your arms again

cool water and rooftop nights remembered

i was floating, floating, floating

i was seeing you with brand new eyes

Round The Bend

2010-04-21T04:29:00.000-07:00

they swallow lies like gospel truth

fall headlong alongside each other

while roots cling on to the sides of bark

made of rotting flesh and gold

and when the earth began to realise

containment of what was not its own

spitting out fragments of sand and gold dust

lain deep in hiding for centuries

i hid my face deep in your coat

while you sobbed along the darkness

somewhere between the lines

i saw specks of gold dust

clinging desperately

to the fibres of your coat

Fire, Fire.

2010-04-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

i like the ground

it keeps me on my feet

slows me down, picks me up

i can go anywhere

the rain blows on me

through my backdoor

as i hurry up the lane

distinguished, burned out

unrecognisable

my lungs can't take water

the feel of unfamiliarity

smoke clogging, air humming

it did look like rain

but it stopped there

for a brief second

and the sidewalks picked me up

down, down, down i go

fire, fire.

Fragmentation

2010-04-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

i would have wanted

melodies in the park

eternity by the benches

with you standing by

while wind tugs and blows

at strands of my hair

as i become undone

with you standing by

because of you, my dear

and now walks by the lake

and breaths near the gates

all but release just a shiver

just with you standing by

and i stop for the world

Unexpected Places

2010-04-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

i find

the smallest things out of nowhere

forming the biggest unfoldings

blooming everywhere down under

river-sharp senses

as i pass by telephone lines

i find

somethings i had been looking for

palm trees

winter footprints

frozen corners

a slight breeze

and the sun in the winter sky

shone down mercilessly

as the bare trees froze

all around me

Dismental

2010-02-19T02:42:00.000-08:00

i find a coldness in the edges

a sunset in my mind

popping champagne, brandy

im quite at my leisure

slowly swallowing up my intelligence

out in the cold, hypothermia

i know im not functioning right

but what does catch me

overthrowing my empty memories

and keeping the part of me

i know best not to

Unwinding Cable Car

2009-11-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

emotive unstable
you're like an unwinding cable car
listening for voices
but its the choices that make us who we are
go your own way
even seasons have changed
just burn those new leaves over
so self absorbed
you seem to ignore the prayers that have already come about

this is the correlation
of salvation and love
dont drop your arms
i'll guard your heart
with quiet words i'll lead you on

backing away from the problem of pain
you've never had a home
you've been misguided
you're hiding in shadows for so very long
dont you believe
that you've been deceived
that you're no better than
the hair in your eyes
it never disguise
what you're really thinking of

this is the correlation
of salvation and love
dont drop your arms
i'll guard your heart
with quiet words i'll lead you on

Watership

2009-09-28T01:44:00.000-07:00

i thought i'd seen it all before.
beside a streetlamp; cold as ice.
clinging on its four feet; a rat. i looked at it
for a full minute.
it scrambled off.
i stood out for a while, trying to understand
the strange texture of this place.
jagged waters, brilliant moonbeams.
everything was electrified, intensified.
he led me by the hand, slowly winding his fingers through mine.
tingling, river sharp senses. i felt together,
yet alone. i didnt know where i was going.
i didnt even know where i was.
who are you? i had asked, my heart a strange sense of wariness.
i am Winter, you reply, your lips a faint touch of a snow drop.

Stare You Down

2009-09-28T01:41:00.000-07:00

because i couldnt find you in a single step
i retreat

because the world wont wait for us
i admit

because i thought you were gone
i forget

because there wasnt a silver lining
i regret

because i wanted you so badly
i reminisce

now i look back and miss you
i forgive

Warning

2009-09-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

3 o'clock in the morning
clothes flapping in the wind
late afternoon sun

edgy cracking above the ledge
north wind of the moor
we're tied up against this place

two invisible rising stakes
waiting for atmospheric pressure
to dampen again

8 o'clock in the evening
red skies in front of our eyes
shepherd's delight

Dismental

2009-09-14T06:27:00.000-07:00

i swear i've heard your name
a thousand times before
lost in echoing depths of my mind
empty decks of ocean beached upon the shore

rumbling like distant thunder
i cry like the rain
the stranger is me

running on shallow empty
twilight of faded memories
coming back to haunt me
in places i've never known before

im one of the many faces
hidden behind masks
faces of safe contempt in large crowds
lost in a sea of my own confusion
you would see me as ordinary
i would see me as gone

but there was never an honest word
seas of faces and crowded images
sandy features and messed up paint
dripping from side to side with wetness
from the flooding rain of my memory
erasing you, others, everyone, me
away, away
away from this room in my soul
disfiguring names and faces
configuring emptiness

bright city lights
they surround me
i slowly learn how to breathe

I wake up.

El Inicio

2009-08-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

burning live wires down my throat

steady your breathing;

here it comes again.

Dissolve

2009-08-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

living and breathing happy endings
just a dream away
from where we started
like taking a coin
and tossing it up in the air
only to watch it fall back down
and catch it again
back to square one
where things stay somewhat the same
but lay there differently
like the toss had changed it whole
rush of air meeting with one side
force on the other
all slowly coming down to a standstill
the beginning
thats all we need to know
because in the end
we'll always return to where we started;
nothingness

No

2009-07-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

i somehow found you again
cracks of easy steps
round crooked bends and up broken ledges
where i've become my own stranger
but when i did find you
vast oceans stood roaring between us
waves drowned my cries towards you
carrying my voice far out into the wild
and when my last breath was used
you still had not turned
so i stood my ground
and the oceans turned to mountains
mountains to grassland
grassland to deserts
and you never heard me
for a second i felt so free
and i fell through the cracklines of the neverchanging distance
i had already lost myself

Love Is The Greatest Illusion

2009-06-02T07:37:00.001-07:00

we are two cars colliding
heading different ways
we are sidewalks and road signs
a perfect company
we are beaches and traffic
looming, intertwined
we are two foreign languages
conversing with a flame

we are two hills of snow and sand
caving in to sink
we are faces of love and shame
no compatibility
we are stars, we are sunrise
together in the sky
we build bridges and burn rivers
scalding the ones we love

"I Love You"

2009-05-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

many things i will never understand
when we feel as if valleys are forming
where there once was green flat land
mountains and hard stones conforming

many things i will not know
when rivers flow past us at such a speed
which pushes us to follow
that never showed a need

some things i try to learn
how you make the sun dance and sing
and at the end of the day i yearn
for the music only you can bring

something i cant live without
you are like an oxygen supply
and waiting for rain in hopeless drought
just when i think i can fly

and soon this world goes too soon
and it finally collapses all around me
i hear you tell me what you said last june
that made me all i wanted to be

Sonnet 713

2009-05-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

as it begins again, slowly reeling
walking in the misty light of the day
was where i heard the passing of healing
touching my face, rested upon to lay
the unsaid truths that the world is cast on
slowly fading away; too soon to see
or touch or realise that it has been gone
and it was receeding away to be
once again lost in the unreeling mourn
a small ripple from the mess of my mind
that had become softer than the moonlight
which so often appears too hard to find
through a web of silhouettes in the night
and i walked through the never-ending road
of events that seem bigger than my load.

Separation Ocean

2009-05-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

well, look who's dying now
when you told me everything was

and miles across shoreline
the faultline cracked beneath me
and you told me time will catch up

showing me all around
the blackened illusion of
mid-west skies and my sleepless mondays

but you told me
that love is the greatest illusion
we pretended not to see

well, look who's dying now
when i told you everything was

when i didnt know how to love you anymore

i dont know how to live without you anymore

Scream

2009-05-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

searching for answers
in the most unexpected obvious places
is just what he needs
staying at home to find
a way in the increasingly confusing
images he passed

because she was too familiar
and somehow among the dunes
he had stumbled across her footsteps before
stumbling after something
he tried so hard to hide

leaving the only place he knew
is something that may happen
when she took him for that wild ride
of unexpected fantasy and dreams
that led him nowhere

and now he's trying to find
his way back home
and he's trying to figure out
exactly what she is
and exactly what she means
while she knows exactly what she's doing

in a thistle that is caught in her own lies

Lines

2009-05-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

centuries fold away, certain like waves
never changing shapes of shorelines; calmness
highlighting days gone by; sung within caves
of elevating thoughts: breathing sweetness.
i'd settle myself before the sunset
to glimpse at the sun i have never seen.
days turn cold, nights unreeling stuck on nets
there was only you; oh where have you been
as i search down vast crevices of cold
looking for even words to replace you
hiding in places where my heart was sold
i never realised what i had to do;
if my words soared as high as the heavens
as night reaches me, sunsets at seven.

Hello

2009-05-12T08:03:00.000-07:00

i feel.
supposedly happy.
thats how im supposed to feel.
what do i really feel?
i dont know.
because i already know
that sinking iceberg
has just reached the bottom
and i might drown.
im happy supposedly.
or at least i try to be.
sinking and floating and tipping
all at the same time.
There. Are. No. Words. For. This.

Look Back

2009-05-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

months written in
and gone like years flew by
steady with every pulse
that gives way underground

and finds us trapped in oblivion
all the silent stones around us
pleading for signs of dignity
and not to be crushed and buried

though we may not be strong
we are gullible and frail
all around us might give way
any second, to what

we'll never know
from deep under the crystal waters
we still try to make our way through
and while keeping pace with our breathing
i looked down

long edges of clocks
fighting waves of time

Lucid Dreaming

2009-05-02T03:57:00.000-07:00

and there was
a ringing in my ear
which of silence
offended the golden bells

in that of disorder
a gentle calm filled my soul
and taken a place
where my crossroads meet

you were everything
i ever imagined
everything i could possibly
have, have it all

and there was
the running made walking
pacing and fast
never pausing, never resting

in that of calmness
somewhere lost in my mind
but there have been
traces of you throughout

you were everything
you are everything
i could possibly need
and i want it all

Evergreen

2009-04-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

it was of the turmoil of the grass
that set loosely on high ends
reeling and unreeling wayward
the movement of unending records

of nights and lights so strong
no one was capable of seeing them
and it was through the progression
that regression of forward
was slowly turned around

with the reeling of the thread
unending pending
with the unreeling of the thread
unending visions
with the reeling of the thread
unending thoughts
with the unreeling of the thread
unending life

Maps

2009-04-20T07:11:00.001-07:00

it was her sadness that made her beautiful.
a beautiful multicoloured bud that never bloomed in spring.
her eyes told tales of the sea, her hair the scalded blackness.
in her ears music would ring, bells playing of disorder.
often among the cooling breezes, hard stones were conformed,
twisted and hardened from her sorrow.
and it formed wilderness and was desolate.
wind often takes its place in the plains of sand,
where the sand will whistle and sing
and tell of the sad song that had once ruled over them,
that of loneliness the cypress sings.

Blue

2009-04-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

i drag on blue
blue for the autumn
blue for the sunset
blue for the day

blue, blue
it drags along
concrete caved in cement
sidewalks of untouched ugliness
roads of blackened stones

and blue continues
blue in the morning
blue for the warning
blue for the running
blue, blue
mystified, intensified

blue for the evening
blue for the moon
blue for the stars
blue for the sky
blue for the clouds
blue for the hills
blue for the grass
blue for the signs
blue for the storm
blue for the wind

blue, blue
i drag on blue
blue drags me along
along, along loneliness
vast distant lands
no one has ever seen

blue for the vastness
blue for the ugliness
blue for the whole world

i single out a point in the sky
and name it blue

Them

2009-04-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

there is a drop
waiting for us
where victims would feel
like they are falling
down, in this way

and soon enough
there is the mass production
of hallucinating historians
among the rubble and gas chambers

now we're looking down at the wreckage
and wish it was wasted on us
but never really knew why
or how it actually felt
to be one of them

The Unreal

2009-04-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

my heart is heavy
my mind; wild
and i feel like ive been
carried away

but i dont drift away
but float in doubt
torn and hurt by what you feel
that feeling thats never real

time and time again
when my body feels too weary
i settle back to floating
aimlessly among landscapes
that never ever existed

because in such a place
only you could exist

The Painter

2009-03-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

so it goes meandering forever
ever so forlorn
seeking for treasures it cant find
things it has once lost

but they're back again
taunting its memories
playfully grabbing it by the edge
pulling it from slipping back
among vast crevices of sharp cold

and so it sees
but does not really see
thinks it awknowledged
but now, it slips away

and gets in touch with its feelings
a mixture of sadness
a beautiful indescribable blue
that no one else can see

slate blue matches the horizon
elevation of the sky
as the orange tinges
staining the place i call home

Undercurrent

2009-03-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

two tides meet
clashing under the moonlight
someone, turn the stars off

for us, for everyone
for everything i've wanted
ever since we contacted

but that moment's gone now
buried beneath the surface
and now, the moonlight cant reach me

so i allow myself to sink
missing the current as it tides
concave, convex, complex

the stars slowly switch on again
and as they get brighter
they explode into shattered pieces

as i bend down on the shore to collect them
and look back at the sea
because ive missed the current again

you'll keep running

2009-03-19T03:59:00.000-07:00

bayshore is burning, burning
say a silent prayer
time is falling, falling

hands are shaking, shaking
because it never stops
no one was there, there

no one ever told you, told you
that the running never ends
bayshore is burning, burning

as the wind picked up, up
north wind blowing wayward
time to wake up, wake up

alarm of unending running, run
before they catch up with you
as we all burn, burn

ten feet underground, ground
tell me why the sky's grey
paint it black, black

i love you, you
your feet keep running
mid-light shifts your face
away from me, me

Free

2009-03-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

i pull out a piece of sky
to match my heaven
because i never had a taste
of perfection or sanity
everything in this uncertain world
spiralling down to meet me

and its ever so often
in these cold nights of june
where i stop my thoughts mid wave
and pull out a piece of coral
to think about you
while a wild train of thoughts
rumble slowly by us

Lullaby

2009-03-05T06:35:00.000-08:00

i sit in stony silence
wondering what he's thinking
while a wild train of thoughts
rumble silently through my head

its all quiet now
and the world sleeps in blissful content
while i lie awake in echoing emptiness

and i wonder all the time
whatever you're thinking of
somewhere far from where i am

my mind wanders through
vast skylands of lowlands
bright skylines of old cities
passing ships of gold

the tracks never seem near to you
wherever my footprints go
yours vanish into the plains
the constant wind sweeping up your path

so i stop
and look around me
i am lost
with no one to follow
with no where to go

i feel the hollowness now

Never Remember

2009-03-02T04:08:00.000-08:00

its hard to remember
the things you forgot
when all you've got is gone
to have a taste of perfection
and then you find you're left
without

why dont you tell me why
you left me early
tell me why
you're doing this
tell me why its so easy for you
when i thought you'd find me here

now the things you remember
you shouldn't forget
especially when they seem
further away than they actually are
why are you leaving this
alone

why dont you tell me why
you left too early
tell me why
im feeling this
tell me why its too hard for me
when you thought that i'd forget

oh, tell me why
tell me why i remember
tell me why
i cant seem to forget
tell me why
the bitterness crept in
waiting for its attack

tell me something
tell me something
remind me i forget

dont tell me something
dont tell me something
because soon i will forget

i'll tell you why
i will forget
because your perfection is gone
i'll tell you why
i will forget
because you will never remember
all the reminders falling around you
you'll never remember
why im here
you'll never remember
how much you mean to me
you'll never remember
you'll never remember

you'll never remember us

Flames

2009-02-28T08:21:00.000-08:00

and i've learnt;
time to forget, time to live
time to really see

there was a fire in front of us
glowing so brightly before us
but we just never noticed

that our thoughts interfused; intervined
and we felt the same way

as we let the fire rage on
no longer glowing
just harmful

i have the urge to touch it;
to touch you
it as been so very long
since we have been here;
just the two of us

so im going to smile now
because i deserve to

and im going to walk away
because the flames have already burned me

Provoked

2009-02-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

silent pictures i paint
round the bends of an empty shipwreck
the wind colouring it grey again

while the water presses me to continue
blue to grey, grey to blue
until my mind is a blur

silent pictures i draw
my time will never be enough
with the wind re-painting the bleak landscape

of all the lost souls
and i wished i fell in love
i dont feel quite at home

as i count the newly drawn ship lights
and croon myself to sleep
edgeless waters pressing me to stay

Salt Lake

2009-02-25T04:39:00.000-08:00

you stepped outside
winter breeze in your smile
and typically looked down

among the vast creek of wintertime

and the plains move so slowly
as the night grows old
while you shiver and look down

into the dark underground

its just like you
to never look up at the vast sky
to ever see what is around you

but look down
at the superficial shadows and reflections
of unidentified things

while the valley stirs restlessly
and the wind ripples across the skylit grass;
a wild train of thoughts

near the cold water
as you shiver
and i never found a way there

into the coldness of your mind
of the saltwater lake
the never changing restlessness

Dancing on Air

2009-02-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

we danced on air
the whole night through
the stars didnt seem to care

my heart is like
a faucet that leaks slowly
and i run out of oxygen

while we dance on air
the whole night through
the moon seemed to shine

my tangled mind
doesnt know where to go
oxygen supply cutting short
as i fall

and we dance on air
the whole day through
the sun soaring above us

my heart is like
a flightless bird
hesitating at your touch

so we dance on air
as i opened up to ways
ways that didnt seem so hard

Break

2009-02-21T04:13:00.000-08:00

i count my breaths
staring at the wall
pointlessly reaching
for something thats not there

a million lights
that light up the room
dimming over time

through the glass that was once transparent
raised against its will
forlorn and helpless

and you stare at me
from the glass
i dont know how long

how long is soon
how long is now
how long is forever

until the autumn dust settles
and we see even clearer than before
restlessly looking for the long-gone sun
that protected our thoughts once

until the glass finally breaks

Paperthin

2009-02-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

bitter oblivion;
it stretches
casting the walls thin

because the air is tight
and fighting becomes
a constant struggle;
desperation

while in the midst of
scattered thoughts
connections are still there

winding their way in between
veins that shone like rainbows

while the paperthin walls
slowly fall all around
cemented, vague
deperation rising slowly through

that conformed lenses
concave; convex
moderated

Stolen

2009-02-10T04:53:00.000-08:00

and i'll admit
summer balcony
rustling leaves
stinging nettles
i was yours

and i forgave
pain, torture, interference
endurance

and i forget
ways we opened up
ways i loved you
ways you came alive

and i have lied
early morning
that creeps against your skin
stole away
deep into the night;
eternity

and i have learnt
creek by the morning
escape by night
air rushing to meet the sky

left by the burning
exploding in our hearts' black box

Rustling Settle

2009-01-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

the morning shines of summer air
misty quivers
and the summer that is the sun

all gently through
and peering through empty gaps
like a curious child
filling spaces in between brokenness

where it was once broken
was now filled
not fixed

and tell us why
the summer air flew all the way
and left us all wondering
of this new sensation

like the tingling of the skin
unpleasant; our long lost touch
of the bitterness that crept in;
ice

we suck in the summer air
now fading
dust settling
tell us why
summer flew by us

like the rustlings
and it settled
not contently
and dwells only in the light
of setting suns

Closing Distances

2009-01-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

if thoughts could soar
as far as the west
i would elevate my thoughts
as high as the heavens
and as far as the east

because reaching to you
is as far as i can ever imagine
closer than i can ever get

and i'd settle my thoughts
on the horizon
to catch a glimpse
of the sun i never saw

and everything in this world is temporary
never changing; never fading

because i see sunsets in your eyes
and the never fading rain in your heart

Running

2009-01-15T05:48:00.000-08:00

people talk, whisper slowly in my ear
and walk down the streets
they pass, their lonely hearts
cant feel what i feel for you tonight

so i sit here and wait
and i'll run right back to the start
i'll run right back to the start
just to see you again

i dont worry about tomorrow
i just worry about today
if my feelings would change
if i would be

ordinary

like the people
with their empty hearts
stopping to pass me by
stopping to whisper

stopping to feel what i feel

so i sit here and wait
i'll run back to the start
i'll run right back to the start

we're gonna run right back to the start

Balance

2009-01-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

if the world keeps spinning
and if im still living
it wont be right if we're not there

but if the world stops spinning
and my heart is hanging there
it will just be me

and if the world kept spinning
and we're both living
we'd be so different;
two separate hearts

but if the world stopped breathing
and if i stopped living
where will you be?

Weave Ivory

2009-01-08T01:52:00.000-08:00

curl up your hands
and tighten your grip
whats yours
will never be yours again

because wounds mixed with salt
they heal incompletely

fall in line with your heartbeat faster
i swear i'll keep the pace
fall in line where your heart moves closer
i swear i'll fall with you

keep the ivory in line
weave the ivory till its mine

weave through your heart
till its more complete
completely incomplete

fall in line with the sound of your breathing
i swear i'll follow behind
fall in line to your heart's settling
i swear i'll stay beside you

keep the ivory in line
weave the ivory till its mine

Pieces

2009-01-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

it gets so confusing
that i dont know where to turn
where to go
what to say

i've tried
i've tried to move on
tried to cry less
tried to stop loving

but the pieces of my heart will never fit
again

Discrimination

2008-11-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

no one knows why we cry
below the moors and over the hills
no one knows why we cry

no one knows who we are
below the empty black skies
people think they know who we are

no one knows what we suffer from
depression? cancer? torture? depression?
no one knows why we suffer

no one knows the reason behind every tear we shed
behind every door we close
no one knows how we survive

no one bothers about us
along abandoned roadsides and muddy streams
no one sees our pain

everyone knows our race
black; negros; coloured; disgusting
everyone discriminates our race

no one knows why we wander among pews in the chapel
perhaps praying for a better day?
but we know things cant change

everyone suspects us of crimes
drug trafficking, murder, theft, piracy
no one can set us free

we live to see our dying day
perished by fire, ice, water, cruelty
everyone lives to see our dying day

only i see the afterlife
the life that comes after death
a nation that lives up to its creed
a nation that strongly believes

Grasstongue

2008-08-22T08:33:00.001-07:00

i watch you slither away
in between the cracks of my mind
you're still alive in there
but somehow, dead within

and how graceful you do
just to leave my mind
like water dripping through canals

like the way you pull yourself
all the way back to the moor
the shore weeping, crying

all the way through the boat ride
the wind rippled
the water shivered
the motor was silent
the grass had hills to speak

and on top of it all
was left the silence
forking its way through the grass
snake's tongue

catching the dew

Ages Unfolding

2008-07-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

stand here for hours
and as we silently stab our aching hearts
stones echo and cry beneath the earth

standing here from a place we once knew
too well, too soon to last
erased from our hearts and memories

till all thats left is mystery

strange yearnings
and feelings kept bottled up

unclassified feelings for one another
unless you are make believe

i dont truly believe im actually here
because this pain is too real
and these cries
too familiar

like the long lost song of the ages

craneflies kept preserved
for millions of years
to be opened in a century's time

kept selfishly wrapped in a time capsule

unfolding of the seedlings
as they bloom all around me

Realization

2008-06-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

we've always left
things unsaid
and it feels like the shot spun me around
violently
hastily
like a slap in the face

never realized
somehow, we're standing here
together

i've tried to fill in
the silent, empty gaps
to the point
it grows heavy with realization

i've let the silence stretch between us
till the things we say
are those lies?

realization
cuts deeper into my knowledge
till whats left is confusion

loved you from the start
but we met halfway

halfway down the line
if we meet in the middle
i hope realization would find us there

Broken Hourglass

2008-05-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

our time together seems so frail now
and im running out of oxygen fast

in between the gaps of my shadow
i've let your light in
just before my dawn
you are my morning star

silver threads among the gold
and as time passes by
the gold fades to grey

time
impossible to go against
hard to weave your way back

so now
our time is running up fast
i'll break through the hourglass
into the cold light of the day
and mixing up the sands of time
ages will start unfolding again

and somehow
between the complicated pathways of time
time is still all we have

and somehow
silver threads among the lost
i'll find you again

Illusion

2008-05-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

there are too many roads to lead
too many paths i'd give up
too many things i'd choose

just too many
i wonder how long it'll last

while the slow draw of dusk
makes me close the blinds and turn away

even if you stayed
maybe you would still be blind

if the blinds draw down again
maybe i'd give up

cuz i've got too many paths to lead

Standing Ovation/ Centrestage

2008-05-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

and sometimes i feel life's a show

i stutter and i stumble
up down. centerstage

and a round of applause

thank you

no explanation needed
no offence taken

acting

but after the curtains draw down
i draw down the blinds of my heart
my dusk is always there
never leaving, never changing

i need a dawn to wake me up

and after the ovation is given
maybe i'll hold on to my options
my plans

my standing ovation
they are just lies for my success
my boosts for my ego
my dreams of fantasy

they are never a reality

and i'll take the centrestage again
this time
all of you can hold your applause

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow (Or Somewhere in Between)

2008-04-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

from what has become
to savour only the adrenaline
from what was of yesterday
and whats gone for today
gone forever tomorrow

and it all fits in
he was yesterday;
she is today
i am tomorrow, or somewhere in between

now i wish the adrenaline was saved for last

and somewhere in between
marks pauses
defiance
inactivity
insincerity

and some adrenaline

and the silouettes from yesterday
will haunt today
and torture tomorrow

but somewhere in between
the lines draw thin
spared from the echoing chamber of lights
blinding for all to see
captivating for all to turn away

he had been yesterday
she was today

i am tomorrow, or somewhere in between

Inside Out

2008-03-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

sometimes
all you need
is to hear your own thoughts

everything
ever so still now
clothes parting
sun setting
moon rising

and its like drowning in a sea
when the water is just up to your ankles

so hear me out now

i may never be free from the world
but, as the darkness grows heavy
somewhere in there
i know there's light

its not your fault
that nothing ever grows

and days pass
and we're not growing any younger

soon
it'll be time
for our eyes to open

maybe mine is open
maybe yours are

maybe our lives
are just looking from the inside

out

Every day, Every Minute, Every Second

2008-02-18T03:18:00.000-08:00

no one knows
how much i miss you
every day, every minute
every second

no one knows
that i think of you
every day, every minute
all the time

every knows
that once in a while
he creeps into my mind
like a ripple
across the surface of my mind
every minute
every second

no one knows
that once i start
i cant stop
the thought of us
from crossing
the barrier of my mind
every second
every minute

no one knows
when you're around
time only exists
in mili-seconds

only i know
that i want you
to be there
in my head
every day
every minute
every second

and no one knows
when you left
you took part of me away
that day
that minute
that second

Let go (Always Part 2)

2008-02-07T01:20:00.000-08:00

making up your mind
the key to your future

and moving on
to leave something behind

and
just as always
i struggle
because you've proved to me
always isn't eternity

its just the wait for you

thrown away, just for winning a day

in the darkness of the world
i find you
in the darkness of the world
i scream out to you

letting you go
is impossible
hard

letting you go
means i wont be there as much for you anymore

letting you go
means we aren't meant for each other
right now; right then

letting you go
means taking a piece of my heart away

now
its all quiet
and im all alone
thinking, reflecting; brooding

sometimes
all you need
is to hear your own voice again

The Wait

2008-02-02T07:40:00.000-08:00

all thats left
is what we have found
dropped from our heart's black box

i've learned
goodbyes will always hurt
and memories
will always be there
with me

cherished, burned
and my whole being struggles
and waits

the truth is all i need to know

confusion is all i need to throw

and in my heart's black box
love is all that needs to grow

Breaking Reality

2008-01-11T05:04:00.000-08:00

breaking reality like breaking you

cuz all through the day
shadows faded but you

never changing
ever sustaining

looking past the day
to get through the night

breaking reality

like breaking you

Fray

2007-12-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

in forgiveness we place trust
and in trust we place hope

in hope we place
the simplest of longing
the deepest of hurt

the world is too wide
for my life to end
too young to die
too old to live

too scared to will, to love
fraying at the side of us

No Sooner

2007-12-20T04:23:00.002-08:00

no sooner had the autumn dusk gathered
that a mind full of queries started racing
full of astonishment; disbelief
and saving songs for the winter
restlessly settled down

and in all said and done
contradiction; lies
maybe thats what i wanted
maybe thats what i needed

no sooner had he left
my mind was left racing

Japanese Poems

2007-12-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

these verses from a book i just bought are so good. they are just verses, not long poems, so each line i leave in between marks the separate poems.

by morning, the leaves
have fallen into silence,
the wind has finally parted,
like lovers after a night,
all talked out, now broken hearted

call it loneliness,
that deep, beautiful colour
no one can describe:
over these dark mountains
the gathering autumn dusk

from over the moors,
the wind stirs the pampas grass
along this narrow road,
and the evening sun grows cold,
and the autumn begins to close

without beginning,
utterly without end,
the mind is born
to struggle and distresses,
and dies - and that is emptiness

by a nameless stream -
small and very beautiful,
last night spent alone -
these broad desolate fields
in a harsh summer dawn

it's not a dewdrop -
it is only this old heart
settling on a flower.
but now it quakes and trembles
at each new breeze, every hour

Him

2007-12-15T02:25:00.000-08:00

perfection...
it drips from him

everything - enigma, pride, light
leaking out all from him

maybe it could have lasted

and staring into those eyes
like a child staring at candy
they were so bright

like snow falling

and with the power of perfection
he could do anything

slow, flying, sweet
maybe thats how i'd describe him

and wings that could have
taken me further

but they brought me back

and after a while
you'll find
maybe perfection doesnt exist

cuz maybe he absorbed too much light
and threw away the darkness

Contradiction

2007-12-12T06:45:00.000-08:00

something that remains unchanged
something ever sustaining
yet ever changing
running on copper blue

one part blue;
two parts black;
three parts white;
four parts red;

seven parts cold

something so pure
kept in a bottle

somehow
like a tree of light
meandering forever
looking for roots to grow
posessing a kind of trusting stubborness

second glances
turned to a parcel of songs

Confessions of Falling

2007-12-02T06:42:00.000-08:00

somehow time flies when you're around

and you snatch back that piece of summer too quickly
that summer you give me
before i can savour it

with you
nothing ever falls into place

cuz they fall too quickly

and you'll try to keep time
from flying from your reach
too scared to lose control

and at hand
i sneek 2nd glimpses at you
for fear if the sunlight
should disappear from your eyes

eyes that can take in the sunlight

everything that you do
every step, every little move
you do it ever so carefully
so as you wont fall
into the waters of depression

and right now
im sinking, falling

falling right into those eyes
falling right through them
falling hopelessly right where you are

maybe it was just sunlight in your eyes
but at that moment
i was experiencing summer

Drown In

2007-11-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

She's so different from me.
When I'm hiding in the silence, she's sprinting across the madness, just like wildfire spreading across the bushland.
When I scream, she watches me from afar, drinking in the silence that I produce for her.
When the stars shine bright for her, I don't see any light in the sky at all.
She walks along the corridor; I sprint in between shadows.
She would just tell me a few words; i cry out at her, screaming out, breaking the balance in our distant worlds.
I never knew pain till she came along. My opposite; i'm hers too.
Now i'm so lost, drowning in my own confusion, in my own resistance, and i just wish she would come back and take my place instead. After all, she could support herself and her family; i cant even support myself.
The rain and dread come. And i know she's already back in her world, drifting upon a cloud, maybe sinking in happiness.
After all, we are opposites.

Names in the Sand/ The Rising Tide

2007-11-25T05:37:00.000-08:00

and you draw lines
carved upon the sand
throwing the stick you used into the waves
watching it float away
and watching the water creep up to the lines
of your name
to wash it away

but a name in the sand
can never last
but casting a look
on the rain and grey
it darkens your deepest fears

just like fallen hopes
being washed away
by the rising tide

and from the earth
we become ash
and get carried away
by the rising tide

all through the endless summer

cuz all you needed
was the names in the sand
to remain there
while you effortlessly collapsed
into a heap of unborn fears
and unborn tears

Angles of Time

2007-11-24T07:07:00.000-08:00

be the angle of time for me
cuz when the angles change, i do

or maybe i just wanted time to stop for me;
to find me

i really wanted to, maybe
just relief the pain of the past

and angle time for me

i cant say i stopped
to catch my breath

cuz the candle burnt out for me
too soon, too late, too unexpectedly

its like trying to compose a song
without lyrics

just like living my life without you

be the angle of time for me
cuz when time stops, i do

i stop
just for a moment
and go back
to uncover a heartbeat
from the burnt out flame
to bring it back to where it belongs

and to start another flame

Unity

2007-11-21T23:50:00.000-08:00

the ones that were gone
before we began

before WE came

and just another heartbeat
heard from miles away

lying on the floor
lying through your teeth

what's new?

just more painless efforts
of crying

less and less
combined with the shallow minds

just all crashed
and they fell to the ground

Facade

2007-11-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

will you be my illusion?

every mask
tells a story

cuz everything happens
under a mask

i dont know
how its going to end

maybe i dont need an illusion
i already am 1

and all thats been happening
remains an illusion

i wasnt really there
neither were you

its just facade
or fate
that we happened to pass by
each other

and luck that we saw
what was happening through each other's eyes

Cypress

2007-11-19T05:44:00.000-08:00

even if there's a crack
down the line
something must go

you know its not going to be me

i just dont understand
why we keep fighting

just like pressing yourself
against your own words

maybe i was wrong
maybe?

there's no maybe
no "what ifs"

just lies

Time Caught Standing Still

2007-11-15T05:08:00.000-08:00

maybe im just weak
or too scared

leaves outside swaying
my heart sways with them

board games
lifting the burden off my chest

one mystery solved

my life
all based into one square
too normal
all to normal for me

or too many things piled up
into one
making it complicated

and maybe
stumbling through the vines
i see the sky
but not the sun

and the shadow of the grey
will embrace the openess
of the blue sky
in the shadow of the day

and my heart
thrown into a pile of dead leaves
swaying in the breeze

or words from a pen
just flowing freely
and thrown into words
jumbled up, messy
all raking through the burns
to just find a sparkle of warmth

and maybe
a heart can skip a beat

Maker and Keeper of Days

2007-11-11T07:06:00.000-08:00

i just want you to come home

maybe back to where i was
where time stopped
and tied together with angles

but where crooked veins run deep
where time stops
the reasons for time
or just a hope in time

it didnt save me
it saved you

now you travel
where crooked veins run deep
im still somewhere

i want you to come back
to the middle of somewhere
where i always was

redemption spinning wildly
cant find me

coz it found you

The Undertaker/Death Reaper

2007-11-06T03:11:00.000-08:00

take me away again
cuz maybe you feel too little
and i, too much

could difference dissolve?

i really wish it could
right now

but maybe you make me see
or just hear for one day
when my eyes (ears) are closed

reaping life from me, maybe

its still you, its still me

maybe its still ok

its just that maybe, i just want to feel again
and you can, i cant

or is it the other way round?

Hundred

2007-11-02T23:30:00.000-07:00

these lyrics are to the song Hundred by the fray. very meaningful.

~HUNDRED~

the how i cant recall
but im staring at
what once was the wall
separating east and west
now they meet amidst
the broad daylight

so this is where you are
and this is where i am
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

its hard i must confess
im banking on the rest to clear away
cause we have spoken everything
everything short of i love you

you right where you are
from right where i am
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

and who's to say its wrong
and who's to say that its not right
where we should be from now

so this is where you are
and this is where i am
so this is where you are
and this is where i've been
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

Crossfade

2007-11-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

you tend to hurry
i tend to run

and we tend to fade

and sometimes i cant believe
how things happened
just in the spur of a moment

late afternoon moon
tendency to forget
to cross and to fade
stillness of the night

the bay waters are still
not a ripple, not a sound

except for the sound of my breathing

First Time

2007-10-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

people this is for my giver project. lemme know your thoughts on this. thankya.

seeping into a darker world
water fills your chest and lungs
and you feel ready to burst

i've always liked serenity
(who doesnt?)

and innocence
something i've wanted to keep
but thrown away instead

or maybe lost

and lying face down
rush of air
strength in the wind
all is still

except for a new feeling
creeping in my chest
feeling ready to burst

suffering

and i've lost my innocence

slowly
i crawl back and try and grasp the feeling
of how its like not to know this
not to know anything

except i just crawl deeper
grasping truth

for the first time
life's a pain
not worth living

seeing through the darkness of the maze
i struggle
yet the journey seems easier

i struggle a little bit more

Ages

2007-10-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

and the visible become invisible again

down the line of age
charmed lives
lies; paybacks; winning; destroying
the ultimate losers

and somewhere in between
screams cease to sobbing
and somewhere in the stillness of silence
the line has snapped

age stops

cautiously
you creep your way out of the fallout
and the parking lot is deserted

cuz friendship was such a long time ago
ages ago, maybe
thin, fragile, snapped, broken
piled into one

and out from the ages
comes time
that never stops
seeping out from the faults of age
just like magma from the earth's core

and the sobbing ceases to silence

cuz somewhere along the line of age
something has snapped
creating a fault

jealousy

the invisible just remain invisible
as though they dont exist

Always

2007-10-19T05:07:00.001-07:00

im a little too quiet for the world
a little too complex for you
a bit too scared for myself

and all of us are here
waiting; praying; hoping; listening
with all our different needs
and im waiting for you to come back
to come back home

as in the darkness of this world
im screaming out;
in the darkness of this world
i find you

and all of us
a bit too young to do anything
a bit too old to just sit and watch

im still curled up, waiting

while eternity burns
telling us to let go

you come to me like a piece of summer
and i always hope it will last

and the way you stand up to your fears
im proud of you
i always have been
i always will be

but how long is always?

20 Years

2007-10-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

the person who reads this should know who he/she is.

20 years down the road
when you next see me
you'll be laughing and crying

just like rediscovering paradise

*

bolder now
the sky in between crackles
the wind washes the wounds away

scars remain
a remembrance of the pain

Fire/Water

2007-10-16T03:59:00.000-07:00

i watched him lie still
silently, confused
drinking the silence in

and it kills me

all the silence is looked after for
but it doesn't care

confusion, anger
all wanting to leak out

but it wont

we take separate paths
you leave for the airport
i cross over a bridge

you're gone
am i gone?

after 20 years
the tap leaks
the pipe bursts

all the emotions freely let out

missing out on the past few years
and time cant be reversed

20 years from now
you'll run to me
laughing and crying at once
as though rediscovering paradice
time will stop still

the meet of 2 long lost friends

while painful memories still remain:
the flight, the silence, the cruxifix, the CD, the poems, the car crash
all too deep
to bury the hachet

the happiness lasts

In Deep Blue, Autumn

2007-10-13T07:39:00.000-07:00

and i watched you as you flew
deep within your blue
your heart is sharded now
so i cant keep my vow

we are breaking up
and im still giving up

im giving up, giving up, giving up

like a song of lost hopes
autumn lasts and jokes
deep inside i pray
that the autumn leaves would stay, stay with me... me... me...

collage of poems

2007-10-13T00:18:00.000-07:00

these poems im putting down are not written by me. all these poems are my favourites. this is also to help me for my english exam preparation. =D

PENANCE
time to go back and read it all again,
whitting out the words you understand
till nothing else is visible but this:

shamefaced; gospel; predent; inexact;
patrimony; silence; coup d'etat

time to refuse your fifteen minutes of fame,
the prize you've already won, but can never accept,
the small-print on the deed, the no-claims bonus

out in the dark, in the cold, in a glimmer of snow,
something you never expected returns to bear witness:
a shadow; a phantom; your double; or something else

that looks at you, or world, if you were there
come to unravel the ghost of a burnt-out fire,
and raking through clinker and ash, to recover a heartbeat

*i like the way John Burnside ended this poem. it ends with a mysterious feel and a question mark*

I WATCH THE STARS GO OUT
perhaps love
is a view of stars
through the telescope of years
now aged,
no longer uncommitted
in chosen places,
nor fearful
of that strident moment
when light explodes
into a million shards of heart.

*i like poems that dont have people in it. and it describes feelings through the world around us. Felix Chong described love and heartbreaks through the stars, and the view of the stars from telescopes*

(title unknown)
morning minnowing
fishing in the afternoon
so the day was spent

three quarters buried
in the blue sand of the sky
late afternoon moon

outside the window
a walk went by its way
to the bay all day

two old mooring stakes
wait for their long vanished boat
to tie up again

*this poem depicks the scene of the sea, casualty, a normal day. though i've read it since the beginning of the year, i still dont understand what feeling the poet is trying to tell through this poem*

More Than Words

2007-10-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

thats all i ask of you
pull out a piece of the sky for me
and make me see beyond angel eyes

make me feel

and i'll be waiting

Crossing Boundaries

2007-10-06T22:53:00.000-07:00

i lie still
solid pavement, rocky edges
cutting my skin

and drops of rain from morning
evaporates from my mouth
just two drops

and i lie still

i get up

and i cross over

and i lie still
soft grass, insects
bees

butterflies

crossing me
and i cant think

and i get up
and cross

i lay still
cold water, rush of wind
submerging deep
wrapped with the algae

my mind's a blur

and i get up, shake off the water

i cross over

i lay still
grapevines hanging loose
snakes coiling
trees whispering
me crying

i cant think

Indistinct Change

2007-10-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

fishing in the creek
soaking in the sun
and the day was gone

cracks in the roof
holes in the gutter
and time goes by
as sunlight shafts through
from different angles

and all that has been done
thrown away; ill spent; wasted
gone from your memory

and the atmosphere changes
a friend gone
a piece of heart lost
days shattered

all those little things
unappreciated, till too late

maybe we could forget change
forget everything
and everyone
and just watch the world go by

but a friend gone
you could still go by the creek
and play with the fishes

things are far from same

but as you watch the world go by
the rain seeps through the hole in your roof

and the last memories gone

fishing in the creek
crying in the rain
another day gone
ill spent

Minutes like Seconds

2007-09-26T01:11:00.000-07:00

and time's running out
but you're still relaxed, composed
over this hectic situation

and time messes us up

and the clock on the wall
just mercilessly ticks on
minutes like seconds
spinning around an empty barrel

and you dont notice what i want

and like a dragon
my heart leaps from its chest
like music off the key
like a broken guitar

and the day dies
coz minutes are like seconds
spinning on an empty barrel

it dies too fast
and maybe im too late
maybe time's my enemy
a sin

but only maybe?
im too uncertain
coz my heart has exploded
and it feels so fake

and the day dies again
maybe time isnt a sin, my enemy

i still see you before me

but the minutes pass like seconds
spinning on an empty barrel

Change

2007-09-23T04:39:00.000-07:00

Sin.

My life has been so bittersweet, full of its ups and downs. It lacks things, and sometimes needs things too.

And every corner i turn, there's a mystery awaiting for me.

People call it "change". And all my life, i've tried to avoid change. I would run from the bad change, and i would aim for the good ones.

And thats sin. I sin to prevent things from this... "change".

I dont want change. Or rather dont like it. Could i ever stop change?

Maybe.

You could breathe. You could take a deep breath and swing around one more time. And fall back into sanity. Or grace.

Maybe gracefully fall back into the arms of grace? Maybe.

And you could see, if you wanted to, see that maybe grace isnt so bad. Maybe grace isnt a sin.

But maybe getting to grace means sinning. From the path of sanity to grace. Maybe?

Twist.

And there are complications. Twists and folds of life. Like a hurricane, which is a twist in the weather, like a blizzard or snow storm.

What ARE those if we use them as symbols for life? Complications? Mixed up worlds? Twists in life? Maybe? Probably?

Surely?

Beside.

If i want to, i would quietly follow you, to where you want to lead me.

But i may not always follow you.

And if you expect me to lead, maybe i wont, if i feel like it. As usual, i probably wont.

If you want to acompany me along this road, walk beside me. And maybe we can talk about the twists in life. Or our sins.

Eyes.

We see through them. I've always wondered what they are. How they had a colour to it in the middle, how all our eye colours are different. Mine is black, yours could be brown, grey, blue, purple...

Person.

And with you beside me, i see through your mask, your insecurities.

We talk even more, and our minds think alike. During this long journey, and we dont even know what we are doing here, you've led me, followed me, walked beside me.

Now we are walking beside each other. The road twists and gets narrower, but we still stand by each other.

Our minds think differently, but yet are alike.

Earth.

And that journey as just begun.

Change. I'm scared of change, but im willing to go through it.

Just stand beside me, and we'll talk about the world.