Fray

in forgiveness we place trust
and in trust we place hope

in hope we place
the simplest of longing
the deepest of hurt

the world is too wide
for my life to end
too young to die
too old to live

too scared to will, to love
fraying at the side of us

No Sooner

no sooner had the autumn dusk gathered
that a mind full of queries started racing
full of astonishment; disbelief
and saving songs for the winter
restlessly settled down

and in all said and done
contradiction; lies
maybe thats what i wanted
maybe thats what i needed

no sooner had he left
my mind was left racing

Japanese Poems

these verses from a book i just bought are so good. they are just verses, not long poems, so each line i leave in between marks the separate poems.

by morning, the leaves
have fallen into silence,
the wind has finally parted,
like lovers after a night,
all talked out, now broken hearted

call it loneliness,
that deep, beautiful colour
no one can describe:
over these dark mountains
the gathering autumn dusk

from over the moors,
the wind stirs the pampas grass
along this narrow road,
and the evening sun grows cold,
and the autumn begins to close

without beginning,
utterly without end,
the mind is born
to struggle and distresses,
and dies - and that is emptiness

by a nameless stream -
small and very beautiful,
last night spent alone -
these broad desolate fields
in a harsh summer dawn

it's not a dewdrop -
it is only this old heart
settling on a flower.
but now it quakes and trembles
at each new breeze, every hour

Him

perfection...
it drips from him

everything - enigma, pride, light
leaking out all from him

maybe it could have lasted

and staring into those eyes
like a child staring at candy
they were so bright

like snow falling

and with the power of perfection
he could do anything

slow, flying, sweet
maybe thats how i'd describe him

and wings that could have
taken me further

but they brought me back

and after a while
you'll find
maybe perfection doesnt exist

cuz maybe he absorbed too much light
and threw away the darkness

Contradiction

something that remains unchanged
something ever sustaining
yet ever changing
running on copper blue

one part blue;
two parts black;
three parts white;
four parts red;

seven parts cold

something so pure
kept in a bottle

somehow
like a tree of light
meandering forever
looking for roots to grow
posessing a kind of trusting stubborness

second glances
turned to a parcel of songs

Confessions of Falling

somehow time flies when you're around

and you snatch back that piece of summer too quickly
that summer you give me
before i can savour it

with you
nothing ever falls into place

cuz they fall too quickly

and you'll try to keep time
from flying from your reach
too scared to lose control

and at hand
i sneek 2nd glimpses at you
for fear if the sunlight
should disappear from your eyes

eyes that can take in the sunlight

everything that you do
every step, every little move
you do it ever so carefully
so as you wont fall
into the waters of depression

and right now
im sinking, falling

falling right into those eyes
falling right through them
falling hopelessly right where you are

maybe it was just sunlight in your eyes
but at that moment
i was experiencing summer

Drown In

She's so different from me.
When I'm hiding in the silence, she's sprinting across the madness, just like wildfire spreading across the bushland.
When I scream, she watches me from afar, drinking in the silence that I produce for her.
When the stars shine bright for her, I don't see any light in the sky at all.
She walks along the corridor; I sprint in between shadows.
She would just tell me a few words; i cry out at her, screaming out, breaking the balance in our distant worlds.
I never knew pain till she came along. My opposite; i'm hers too.
Now i'm so lost, drowning in my own confusion, in my own resistance, and i just wish she would come back and take my place instead. After all, she could support herself and her family; i cant even support myself.
The rain and dread come. And i know she's already back in her world, drifting upon a cloud, maybe sinking in happiness.
After all, we are opposites.

Names in the Sand/ The Rising Tide

and you draw lines
carved upon the sand
throwing the stick you used into the waves
watching it float away
and watching the water creep up to the lines
of your name
to wash it away

but a name in the sand
can never last
but casting a look
on the rain and grey
it darkens your deepest fears

just like fallen hopes
being washed away
by the rising tide

and from the earth
we become ash
and get carried away
by the rising tide

all through the endless summer

cuz all you needed
was the names in the sand
to remain there
while you effortlessly collapsed
into a heap of unborn fears
and unborn tears

Angles of Time

be the angle of time for me
cuz when the angles change, i do

or maybe i just wanted time to stop for me;
to find me

i really wanted to, maybe
just relief the pain of the past

and angle time for me

i cant say i stopped
to catch my breath

cuz the candle burnt out for me
too soon, too late, too unexpectedly

its like trying to compose a song
without lyrics

just like living my life without you

be the angle of time for me
cuz when time stops, i do

i stop
just for a moment
and go back
to uncover a heartbeat
from the burnt out flame
to bring it back to where it belongs

and to start another flame

Unity

the ones that were gone
before we began

before WE came

and just another heartbeat
heard from miles away

lying on the floor
lying through your teeth

what's new?

just more painless efforts
of crying

less and less
combined with the shallow minds

just all crashed
and they fell to the ground

Facade

will you be my illusion?

every mask
tells a story

cuz everything happens
under a mask

i dont know
how its going to end

maybe i dont need an illusion
i already am 1

and all thats been happening
remains an illusion

i wasnt really there
neither were you

its just facade
or fate
that we happened to pass by
each other

and luck that we saw
what was happening through each other's eyes

Cypress

even if there's a crack
down the line
something must go

you know its not going to be me

i just dont understand
why we keep fighting

just like pressing yourself
against your own words

maybe i was wrong
maybe?

there's no maybe
no "what ifs"

just lies

Time Caught Standing Still

maybe im just weak
or too scared

leaves outside swaying
my heart sways with them

board games
lifting the burden off my chest

one mystery solved

my life
all based into one square
too normal
all to normal for me

or too many things piled up
into one
making it complicated

and maybe
stumbling through the vines
i see the sky
but not the sun

and the shadow of the grey
will embrace the openess
of the blue sky
in the shadow of the day

and my heart
thrown into a pile of dead leaves
swaying in the breeze

or words from a pen
just flowing freely
and thrown into words
jumbled up, messy
all raking through the burns
to just find a sparkle of warmth

and maybe
a heart can skip a beat

Maker and Keeper of Days

i just want you to come home

maybe back to where i was
where time stopped
and tied together with angles

but where crooked veins run deep
where time stops
the reasons for time
or just a hope in time

it didnt save me
it saved you

now you travel
where crooked veins run deep
im still somewhere

i want you to come back
to the middle of somewhere
where i always was

redemption spinning wildly
cant find me

coz it found you

The Undertaker/Death Reaper

take me away again
cuz maybe you feel too little
and i, too much

could difference dissolve?

i really wish it could
right now

but maybe you make me see
or just hear for one day
when my eyes (ears) are closed

reaping life from me, maybe

its still you, its still me

maybe its still ok

its just that maybe, i just want to feel again
and you can, i cant

or is it the other way round?

Hundred

these lyrics are to the song Hundred by the fray. very meaningful.

~HUNDRED~

the how i cant recall
but im staring at
what once was the wall
separating east and west
now they meet amidst
the broad daylight

so this is where you are
and this is where i am
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

its hard i must confess
im banking on the rest to clear away
cause we have spoken everything
everything short of i love you

you right where you are
from right where i am
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

and who's to say its wrong
and who's to say that its not right
where we should be from now

so this is where you are
and this is where i am
so this is where you are
and this is where i've been
somewhere between
unsure and a hundred

Crossfade

you tend to hurry
i tend to run

and we tend to fade

and sometimes i cant believe
how things happened
just in the spur of a moment

late afternoon moon
tendency to forget
to cross and to fade
stillness of the night

the bay waters are still
not a ripple, not a sound

except for the sound of my breathing

First Time

people this is for my giver project. lemme know your thoughts on this. thankya.

seeping into a darker world
water fills your chest and lungs
and you feel ready to burst

i've always liked serenity
(who doesnt?)

and innocence
something i've wanted to keep
but thrown away instead

or maybe lost

and lying face down
rush of air
strength in the wind
all is still

except for a new feeling
creeping in my chest
feeling ready to burst

suffering

and i've lost my innocence

slowly
i crawl back and try and grasp the feeling
of how its like not to know this
not to know anything

except i just crawl deeper
grasping truth

for the first time
life's a pain
not worth living

seeing through the darkness of the maze
i struggle
yet the journey seems easier

i struggle a little bit more

Ages

and the visible become invisible again

down the line of age
charmed lives
lies; paybacks; winning; destroying
the ultimate losers

and somewhere in between
screams cease to sobbing
and somewhere in the stillness of silence
the line has snapped

age stops

cautiously
you creep your way out of the fallout
and the parking lot is deserted

cuz friendship was such a long time ago
ages ago, maybe
thin, fragile, snapped, broken
piled into one

and out from the ages
comes time
that never stops
seeping out from the faults of age
just like magma from the earth's core

and the sobbing ceases to silence

cuz somewhere along the line of age
something has snapped
creating a fault

jealousy

the invisible just remain invisible
as though they dont exist

Always

im a little too quiet for the world
a little too complex for you
a bit too scared for myself

and all of us are here
waiting; praying; hoping; listening
with all our different needs
and im waiting for you to come back
to come back home

as in the darkness of this world
im screaming out;
in the darkness of this world
i find you

and all of us
a bit too young to do anything
a bit too old to just sit and watch

im still curled up, waiting

while eternity burns
telling us to let go

you come to me like a piece of summer
and i always hope it will last

and the way you stand up to your fears
im proud of you
i always have been
i always will be

but how long is always?

20 Years

the person who reads this should know who he/she is.

20 years down the road
when you next see me
you'll be laughing and crying

just like rediscovering paradise

*

bolder now
the sky in between crackles
the wind washes the wounds away

scars remain
a remembrance of the pain

Fire/Water

i watched him lie still
silently, confused
drinking the silence in

and it kills me

all the silence is looked after for
but it doesn't care

confusion, anger
all wanting to leak out

but it wont

we take separate paths
you leave for the airport
i cross over a bridge

you're gone
am i gone?

after 20 years
the tap leaks
the pipe bursts

all the emotions freely let out

missing out on the past few years
and time cant be reversed

20 years from now
you'll run to me
laughing and crying at once
as though rediscovering paradice
time will stop still

the meet of 2 long lost friends

while painful memories still remain:
the flight, the silence, the cruxifix, the CD, the poems, the car crash
all too deep
to bury the hachet

the happiness lasts

In Deep Blue, Autumn

and i watched you as you flew
deep within your blue
your heart is sharded now
so i cant keep my vow

we are breaking up
and im still giving up

im giving up, giving up, giving up

like a song of lost hopes
autumn lasts and jokes
deep inside i pray
that the autumn leaves would stay, stay with me... me... me...

collage of poems

these poems im putting down are not written by me. all these poems are my favourites. this is also to help me for my english exam preparation. =D

PENANCE
time to go back and read it all again,
whitting out the words you understand
till nothing else is visible but this:

shamefaced; gospel; predent; inexact;
patrimony; silence; coup d'etat

time to refuse your fifteen minutes of fame,
the prize you've already won, but can never accept,
the small-print on the deed, the no-claims bonus

out in the dark, in the cold, in a glimmer of snow,
something you never expected returns to bear witness:
a shadow; a phantom; your double; or something else

that looks at you, or world, if you were there
come to unravel the ghost of a burnt-out fire,
and raking through clinker and ash, to recover a heartbeat

*i like the way John Burnside ended this poem. it ends with a mysterious feel and a question mark*

I WATCH THE STARS GO OUT
perhaps love
is a view of stars
through the telescope of years
now aged,
no longer uncommitted
in chosen places,
nor fearful
of that strident moment
when light explodes
into a million shards of heart.

*i like poems that dont have people in it. and it describes feelings through the world around us. Felix Chong described love and heartbreaks through the stars, and the view of the stars from telescopes*

(title unknown)
morning minnowing
fishing in the afternoon
so the day was spent

three quarters buried
in the blue sand of the sky
late afternoon moon

outside the window
a walk went by its way
to the bay all day

two old mooring stakes
wait for their long vanished boat
to tie up again

*this poem depicks the scene of the sea, casualty, a normal day. though i've read it since the beginning of the year, i still dont understand what feeling the poet is trying to tell through this poem*

More Than Words

thats all i ask of you
pull out a piece of the sky for me
and make me see beyond angel eyes

make me feel

and i'll be waiting

Crossing Boundaries

i lie still
solid pavement, rocky edges
cutting my skin

and drops of rain from morning
evaporates from my mouth
just two drops

and i lie still

i get up

and i cross over

and i lie still
soft grass, insects
bees

butterflies

crossing me
and i cant think

and i get up
and cross

i lay still
cold water, rush of wind
submerging deep
wrapped with the algae

my mind's a blur

and i get up, shake off the water

i cross over

i lay still
grapevines hanging loose
snakes coiling
trees whispering
me crying

i cant think

Indistinct Change

fishing in the creek
soaking in the sun
and the day was gone

cracks in the roof
holes in the gutter
and time goes by
as sunlight shafts through
from different angles

and all that has been done
thrown away; ill spent; wasted
gone from your memory

and the atmosphere changes
a friend gone
a piece of heart lost
days shattered

all those little things
unappreciated, till too late

maybe we could forget change
forget everything
and everyone
and just watch the world go by

but a friend gone
you could still go by the creek
and play with the fishes

things are far from same

but as you watch the world go by
the rain seeps through the hole in your roof

and the last memories gone

fishing in the creek
crying in the rain
another day gone
ill spent

Minutes like Seconds

and time's running out
but you're still relaxed, composed
over this hectic situation

and time messes us up

and the clock on the wall
just mercilessly ticks on
minutes like seconds
spinning around an empty barrel

and you dont notice what i want

and like a dragon
my heart leaps from its chest
like music off the key
like a broken guitar

and the day dies
coz minutes are like seconds
spinning on an empty barrel

it dies too fast
and maybe im too late
maybe time's my enemy
a sin

but only maybe?
im too uncertain
coz my heart has exploded
and it feels so fake

and the day dies again
maybe time isnt a sin, my enemy

i still see you before me

but the minutes pass like seconds
spinning on an empty barrel

Change

Sin.

My life has been so bittersweet, full of its ups and downs. It lacks things, and sometimes needs things too.

And every corner i turn, there's a mystery awaiting for me.

People call it "change". And all my life, i've tried to avoid change. I would run from the bad change, and i would aim for the good ones.

And thats sin. I sin to prevent things from this... "change".

I dont want change. Or rather dont like it. Could i ever stop change?


Maybe.

You could breathe. You could take a deep breath and swing around one more time. And fall back into sanity. Or grace.

Maybe gracefully fall back into the arms of grace? Maybe.

And you could see, if you wanted to, see that maybe grace isnt so bad. Maybe grace isnt a sin.

But maybe getting to grace means sinning. From the path of sanity to grace. Maybe?


Twist.

And there are complications. Twists and folds of life. Like a hurricane, which is a twist in the weather, like a blizzard or snow storm.

What ARE those if we use them as symbols for life? Complications? Mixed up worlds? Twists in life? Maybe? Probably?

Surely?


Beside.

If i want to, i would quietly follow you, to where you want to lead me.

But i may not always follow you.

And if you expect me to lead, maybe i wont, if i feel like it. As usual, i probably wont.

If you want to acompany me along this road, walk beside me. And maybe we can talk about the twists in life. Or our sins.


Eyes.

We see through them. I've always wondered what they are. How they had a colour to it in the middle, how all our eye colours are different. Mine is black, yours could be brown, grey, blue, purple...


Person.

And with you beside me, i see through your mask, your insecurities.

We talk even more, and our minds think alike. During this long journey, and we dont even know what we are doing here, you've led me, followed me, walked beside me.

Now we are walking beside each other. The road twists and gets narrower, but we still stand by each other.

Our minds think differently, but yet are alike.


Earth.

And that journey as just begun.

Change. I'm scared of change, but im willing to go through it.

Just stand beside me, and we'll talk about the world.

Black Fatigue

splinters and shadows
leaping and flying across the walls
and the fire jumps from its place

darkness piles up from wall to wall
and the fire crackles gleefully
and in the middle of nowhere

but im not scared, just tired
tired of thinking
tired of battles
tired of me

untiold wars just go on day to day
it could be in broad daylight
some in the coldest nights
some in my silent heart
the rest in my raging soul

and im not scared, but tired

maybe? the word creeps through the cracks of the wall
into my head
"maybe" i whisper in reply
afraid to hear my own voice
the word trails off into the distance

jaws set tight
i put out the fire
take my bag
set my back on this place forever

and ever

i dont understand
im not scared, maybe tired
tired...
or maybe tired?

The Stirrings of Unease

THE 1ST STIRRINGS OF UNEASE
weight of worry
heavy on your shoulders
the ground heavy
full of your worries
the worst hasnt come yet

and whenever you look at that person
can you trace the slightest flutter
of wings in your stomach?

THE 2ND STIRRINGS OF UNEASE
the tension in you
unreleased, pressurised
built up in your body, your core
eating you up

when you look at him
you search for hidden feelings
suddenly, its just nervousness

THE 3RD STIRRINGS OF UNEASE
you look down at your feet
the weight of the world on you

the questions come
but both of you cant face the truth
you lie, and the lie comes out sincerely:

"I still love you"

and it feels wrong

THE FOURTH STIRRINGS OF UNEASE
your mind goes blank
now you just say empty words
hollow sounding meaningless phrases
which once you meant it
with all your heart

awkwardness sets in
the unease builds up
questions arent made for these moments

THE FIFTH STIRRINGS OF UNEASE
your heart sounds hollow
and finally reality sets in
lost in a sea of shadows
and facing worst fears

will "I love you" work now?

THE SIXTH
the break comes

and it goes

and now you lie calmly
but still
the stirrings of unease
stir inside you

your heart is a silent shadow
wandering through the dark and misty hallways
of your lost soul
wandering through this... this world

your heart is just a silent shadow

Black Oak

we loved to hear the wind whistle
and the leaves sway
on the black oak

that was a long time ago
when the old house along the farms was mine
where the back field was mine to keep

and where the morning glories grew wild
on the hill
next to the sea

and i loved the sea

down by the sea
where everything is perfect
was perfect

one silent look
cascades down silently
and is lost in a sea of thoughts

the last rays of the evening
she was playing by the sea
and suddenly
she was stolen

she was stolen by the sea

a year and a half passed
death folded among the dish towels
it floats itself above the family
hanging around us like an invisible hold
and is lost in family photos
wordlessly we finger her absence

that could happen

the sea
a curse, a grave, a death
thats where life meets death

thats where i'll never go again

i wordlessly finger her absence
staring up at the black oak
wondering where she is

i miss her
i miss the ocean

Lying Still

afraid of...
breaking down
maybe even tearing

or even afraid of...
lying still

lying still
to remember
everything

memories
fall
like rain, like a storm
ceasing, but coming back again

afraid of
looking
at the stillness
of your own reflection

afraid
of realising in that reflection
that something is missing
something wiped clean off

happiness

i miss you
could i miss you more?

Weaving Magic

colts
breaking through the dawn
riding so freely
across the pink sky

which is now turning yellow

and the colts drown
to form a wolf
its snout is raised
as if it smells something
in the yellow dawn

and the blue comes

the wolf's shape disperses
to form small free shapes
to form butterflies
all flying around the air

the rain comes
the blue disappears
and low, hanging grey clouds
visible just above the sky
somehow they look like a thick winter quilt
patched here and there

the clouds break
and the blue is visible again
and the clouds form a bird
somehow unable to fly
and still struggling to learn

and evening sets in
purple paints the world

a white bridge is formed
a distinct cross between two worlds

the last rays of light
the darkest shade of blue, maybe even black
covers the world

the world sorrowfully sighs
as everyone lies asleep

up there, the clouds
unable to stop
continue to weave their magic

Blinding White

just another day
the skies are grey
the rain has come
everything is washed away

grey of the skies
cracking open my heart
God knows what im going through
something different

in the noisy chatter
of the room
i write my story

binding the grey with white
i weave through the maze of right and wrong
i thought i was complete
but i wasnt

its been so twisted, complicated
completely unrealistic
yet its reality

i can't feel like this
i punch my heart
and it tears into pieces

can i ever go back
to just repair the damage

the grey and white binded together
form a blinding white
seeing through the darkness of the maze
i struggle
yet the journey seems easier

i struggle a little bit more

Walls of Breath

uncertainty
builds up
the four walls of pressure

9am in the morning
a usual day at school
choir practice per normal
the bored voices of students

a loud sound goes off
a chemistry explosion?
something bigger

and the choir hushes
to the rhythm of pounding hearts
one more shot into the hall window
and the chaos starts

running students
terrorized teachers
uncertain people

11.21am
lives are changed forever
throughout the hall
more blasts sounding
more shattered windows
more glass lying on the floor
the demonic splintering the angelic

terrorized by their surroundings
everyone looks over
a student prays
another cries
a teacher bleeds
the rest stare in stunned confusion

gunfire, blasts, crackling, ringing
what next?
too soon, too young, too scared
paralysed

12.03pm
the silence and darkness of the library
angels can be seen
embracing the lifeless
their wings flicker faintly
soft humming of hymns are heard
the walls start breathing

i lie on my bed
numb, emotional, non-feeling
crying out for answers
why? it was too soon
i was too young
im crying out into the silence

cause only the silence
can embrace my uncertainty

and with the silence
the walls start breathing again

Field of Innocence

this song is sung by evanessence. it can describe the way i feel now... my innocence gone and my heart trapped somewhere else. i think this song's lyrics would be meaningful to you.

FIELD OF INNOCENCE ~ EVANESSENCE

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

[Latin hymn:]
Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Oh, Where

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember

Darkness' Blindfold/ Starless Nights

the sun will eventually set
darkness would wrap itself against the sky
darkness is like a blanket; a blindfold
and these starless nights
another one gone by

empty spaceless blackness, darkness, emptiness
flakes of snow glistening against the porchlights for comfort
but no, the nightwatchers arent here to look after us

the sun has no mercy, no passion
it doesnt have anymore warmth in its light
and all we need now is the moon
but its gone to hide

the lakes are frozen once again
i look in remorse at the dead weeds
darkness... blackness
it covers the whole world
with these starless nights

ten years have passed
i look into the black sky
another starless night gone by

Withering Heights

the flowerless vines wrap themselves against the white concrete
all around, summer is ending

summer is dying... dying... dying

autumn, welcoming winter
the song to lost hopes

but summer this time was different
the changes made were unhappy
the birds sang, the tune hollow, empty, haunting

but the old house at the side
must be wondering
whats wrong with change?
what IS change?

summer is dying, dying, drying
autumn is coming, coming, coming
winter is near, near, near
spring is far behind time, time

cause time is eternity

the red and gold leaves rush up
to meet the air
to your feet they fly
they land near you

leaves have life, they have death

dishonestly, shamefully
you stare at the sunset
something is wrong with the colour of the sky
the sun can't set probably
his daughter Earth is dying

the old house lay in the corner of Withering Heights
it saw what was happening in the distance
a sound it had never heard before

the sound of human activity
and with one last look from father sun
the fog rose up into the air

Connected Fear

sorrow
running in my veins
the fear is hollow sounding
echoing through my heart

but outside is bright
the sun hasn't stopped shining

im not supposed to be feeling this way!
lost, angry, fearful, deep in thought

the fear connects
i sense what he's thinking
i can't breathe anymore

and im scared of what may happen
but nothing is wrong with me

my heart is slowly dropping
but its still in place

i feel what he feels
how he breathes

fear
connecting at a certain level
connected thoughts
collected identical thoughts
running through the invisible tunnels
connecting our minds

Rain and Grey

the sky hangs
just a feet above the ground
trying to collapse on us

the sky is very grey
it has been raining for eternity;
time is eternity

everyone is running for shelter
the rain shoots down
onto the black earth
the soil has become muddy from the rain

the rain are arrows
the water - our enemy?

Paper Hearts

all around
winter is ending
spring is coming
conquering the skies

everywhere you go
you see people with paper hearts
they don't feel

walking up and down the street aimlessly
you are the only one who can feel

all these people's paper hearts
just hasn't broken yet
your heart has just been wounded

inside you're bleeding
your soul is dying
but these people have paper souls
they can't feel for you
they can't show sympathy

you walk down
you bump into me

and finally, you feel again
my heart isn't paper either
both of us stare

and through your reflection
you step into my world
im your reflection

and in this world
people's hearts break

but there is just a person
with a paper heart

that person is you

Beyond

what lies beneath the soul
a mystery, untamed
but tenderly leaping up
terrorizing souls

these are lost souls
hunting for hidden meanings
searching for dark reasons

they sink deeper into the shadows
into misery, into death
into hell... deep down
in their own world of black

you can't reach them
yet they seem too near to you
you're scared of them
but yet they are scared of you

like shadows they glide around
their feet don't touch the floor
they haunt people
but at the same time they scare themselves

they can look beyond their mind's eye
they look into their own dark reflection
then into the black night beyond their black face

they understand what it's like to die
they've experienced death
not a physical death
but their soul is dead
gone with the ruthless wind

they can wander aimlessly
wander in circles
and drift eerily into their own misty world
they always get lost

they've never seen light before
but the people with light from their hearts
they run away from
they can't take the brightness

and yes, a million things can be said about
these shadow souls, lost souls
a million more reasons
but these reasons remain untold

The Past

the woods
filled with the 5am mist

i stand beneath the most beautiful tree
its beauty still in tact
after centuries

the horses, now tame
no longer come to me

and centuries ago
they were free, they were wild
they would gather had my feet
i would teach them the world

but now, three centuries
gone in the flicker of an eye
humans scare them

everything has changed
the mist would have been slate blue
but now its just a cold white

and the forest no longer shines
with that mysterious light
it's just cold

yes, everything has changed
but im simply part of the past
living in the past

so i'll always be standing
beneath the most beautiful tree
the horses, the wild horses
would always run to me

and i would teach the world about them

On Our Own

i can't turn back
but i know my mistake was gold
maybe i'd rather loose you
than hang on a loose cliff

we could have shown the world
if you never lied
we could have told stories
if you kept promises

everything i do now reminds me of you
everything we did together'
is everything i do now

and we could have shared with the world
what secrets we had discovered
all wrapped up in your perfect eyes
but now they just reflect hurt and guilt

i could have lost a loss with you
but you've taken a piece of my heart with you
and i just can't let you go

and we could have told the world
everything we did
all on our own

its only a could have now

all on our own
the stars shared our secrets
all on our own
we chased cars and rainbows

i wish i can do that again
on our own

Reality

it's just me and my empty heart
streetlight on a lonely night
it's just me and my lonely soul
trying to find the way home

but i want so much
i wish so much
i hope so much, yet i fail to touch
when it all comes down, i wanna be with you
but i want so much it's reality
(you dont know how it's gonna be)

i'd be lying if i said im fine
my hopes, desires all broken dreams
and i wanna find the words to say
but i can no longer connect with my soul

but i want so much
i wish so much
i hope so much, yet i fail to touch
when it all comes down, i wanna be with you
but i want too much, it's reality
(i dont know how its gonna be)

save my soul...
oh...

i want so much
i wish too much
i hope alot and i fail to touch
but i break it down into simpler terms
i just wanna be with you...
it's reality...

but i want so much
i wish so much
i hope so much, yet i fail to touch
when it all comes down, i wanna be with you
but i want so much it's reality
(we dont know how it's gonna be)

(note: 1 of the best songs i've written taken from the album i entitled "Fallen Memory Lane")

Jewel Kilcher's songs

these 2 songs by Jewel Kilcher really made me think about life. try and figure out what she's trying to say in the 2 songs.

LAST DANCE RODEO
lungs fill up with concrete, her voice is all you can hear
red lips and a screwdriver, rapped around some mink clad, queer
and you know that she's no diamond in this damn jukebox hell
'cause only fools gold fools fools, in 2 bit hotels
but she's cooler than all that; a real high class cat
queen of the last dance rodeo

under the gas lamps the air is thick in velvetine
your bones fill with hunger your heart fills with longing
you're no longer human you're an insatiable hole
you wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
'cause you know

you need is a heart to call home;
you need is a heart to call home... that's all

light bulbs and nylons and plastic chandeliers
objects are only objects; they can't feel when you're near
but tangerine lips and lily white breasts
these things are eternal, inside them humanity rests
her skin's like a seashell; you listen to her soul
like an old time radio show

'cause under the gas lamps the air is thick in velvetine
your bones fill with hunger, your heart fills with longing
you're no longer human you're an insatiable hole
you wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
'cause you know

you need is a heart to call home
you need is a heart to call home; thats call

don't wander too far, my 1 constant star
darkness exists except where you are
my feet are filled with wondering, they follow your own
'cause everywhere you are feels like home

so search all you miners, you hunters of dreams
look in the alleyways for what you know is not what it seems
and feign all you maidens, but don't resist too long
least you look behind you and see your own shadow is gone
don't you know it's the last rodeo
yet find yourselves a cowboy, some one to keep you warm when it's cold

'cause under the gas lamps the air is thick in velvetine
your bones fill with hunger your heart with longing
you're no longer human you're an insatiable hole
you wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
'cause you know

you need is a heart... to call home
you need is a heart... to call home
you need is a heart to call home (yeah yeah)
you need is a heart all you need
coz all you need
coz all you need is a heart, thats all
that's all

STEVENVILLE, TEXAS
housewives told to recapture their youth
by wearing floral print and suede; fixing their hairdos
with pc chemical free hairspray
martha steward taught em to make on tv
i was raised a farm girl but now im too far from home
all alone on the road
trying to figure out who i am
now the stardust has turned to sand; the sand has turned to stone
on the star making machine
im 31 years old that ain't the end but it aint where i began
my daddy; he wrote songs and he broke colts and went back to school to get a degree
now he teaches music to kids; he taught music to me
and this alaskan girl has been living in stevenville, texas, that is
yes you guessed it, i moved there coz i fell in love with a man
i moved his ex ladies things out of the closet
the same closet i moved my things back in
no it did not make me feel that great as if to demonstrate everything's temporary if you give it enough time
im 31 years old that aint the end but it sure aint where i began
but hey im just a kid; i've got nothing to lose
im the singer of songs, im the player of crowds
hey mom look - im an entertainer, im a mordern day troubador
trying to find justic with 6 strings
trying to make the world make sense out of me
trying to be loved completely; trying to love honestly
trying to find a decent high noon cup of tea in another hotel
im trying to listen to the leaves speak trying to steal secrets from the fishes in the creek
trying to figure out who i am
a pretty mediocre cook and even worse: mathamatician; maybe a mum 1 day
what will it be?
im trying to figure out who i am, but there's no hand to hold
no doc martin luther king just sycophants and mindlessness on tv
we all read magazines for the latest way to behave
so hey why not follow me; the blonde bombshell deity
i'll sell you neat ideas without big words and a lil' bit of cleavage
to wash it all down
you know everybody thought godard was a clown
man that aint gonna be me
im 31 years old that aint the end but it sure aint where i began
i guess it just makes it stevenville, texas

Last of Days

It was the last day of summer. She was waiting for him along the forest path where trees were alined.

As the wind blew she heard footsteps and heavy breathing. Slowly, she turned around. There he stood, sweaty, an image of perfection in her eyes. But there was a sense of heavy awkwardness between the two of them already. Somewhere between the perfectly drawn lines, there was a slight curve.

He greeted her with his warm embrace. It was for a brief second, then they let go.

After exchanging weird glances at each other, she blurted, "I can't go on like this anymore!"

He stared at her, allowing the sentence to sink in. The stare was hard and cold, and even her own breath felt cold to her.

"What are you saying?" he ventured.

"Both of us can't go on like this anymore. I'm sorry." The sadness in her tone surprised her. She didn't know letting him go was going to be so painful.

Deep in her heart she knew he understood, but as most guys did, he defended himself. "You're not much of a fighter," he retorted.

"Maybe that's because you can't even fight yourself," she said.

Both of them eyed each other coldly. Around them, the breeze swayed, with gusts of wind blowing at them occasionally.

Then he turned, his face towards the sunset, his back towards her. That image of perfection was gone.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek. All around her, leaves started falling, rushing to meet the air.

You Finally Came

you came into my life
gently, rapidly, quietly
you made me feel

you came into my mind
slowly but surely, silently
you somehow crept in

you came into my soul
ever so purely and beautifully
like the breeze passing me by
grasping my being

you came into my heart
evenly paced, wonderfully sweet
you were everything to me

you finally came into my life
and you are all this to me

Sweet Whispers

sweet whispers
ringing through my head

i once had you
those quiet nights of talking

silent memories
i couldn't let go of them
now they are falling apart
drifting away from me

i never had your heart
you never had mine

but i miss your innocence
my innocence

now my quiet nights
are full of remorse
i lie on my bed, numb
unfeeling, not knowing where to turn

sweet whispers
fading, fading, fading, fading...

and they are gone into the night

Tiny Things

all the things you've done and said
can you take them back?

those tiny things you've said
those little things you've done

can you take it all away?
can you take all this pain away?

those tiny things people do and say
make them a little too fake
and its a little too late for them to change

and you
maybe you don't remember me
but i can't forget

though we were together
we were living in separate worlds

i can't forget you now

White Lies

little lies like acid rain
through the town
falls on my skin
burning a mark

you lies seep through
the cracks of my injured heart
like the acid, it burns a scar

white lies
harmless lies that are told
but they still hurt

and yes
all those unspoken truthes
and untold stories of hurt
the wind carries these lies
all of them are once again discovered

the lies break me deeply
and i cant understand anything
your words are slurred
your apologies are not sincere

and like acid rain
it comes and it goes

Standing Still

you run towards her
you catch hold of her shoulders
you start to shake her hard
you're sobbing

she grins a grin of betrayal

you cry out in pain
you can't stop
she was by you all along
and now she's just gone

she stands still

you sob even harder
and you shake her so much more
you yell at her; she closes her ears

you tried to tell her how much she meant to you
the words just come out slurred
you can't reach her
her soul is gone

and you sob even more
with her just standing still
time and the world passes the two of you
without sympathy

and you remain crying
she remains still

False/Gone

i can't believe you're really gone
all that false hope you gave me

i really try to say
i won't fall back to you
but it's really hard
to see you walk away into the rain

you told me you were the liar
but what am i?
im lying to myself here
and after the smoke clears
you'd still be away

i can't believe you're really gone
without you im just passing time
i can't look for answers in my bed
my heart has begun to sound hollow

and maybe when i see the light at the end of the road
i could move on
but you just keep me from moving on
one minute appearing, saying you would be staying
and the next say you've gotta leave

and i can't believe you've just left
just when the grey skies were clearing
now im lost on my own
with no one to fall back on

you are gone
the false pretense is over
but our memories haunt me
once i touch them
they burst open with you

i can't believe you're gone

(this is actually meant to be a song, so some phrases are repeated many times. still working on the tune)

Sea Glass

hundreds of shards coloured green
all collected in a glass jar

all the broken shards were taken from my heart

there went the long line of people
the downpour was stopping
i smiled for the casual
i was trying to steal the dying day

and i don't know why im so cold

you stared for the silence
the trains pulled in
i smiled for the relief of the tension

i couldn't reach you already
you were gone as the train disappeared
into the sunset

the sea glass was all collected and given by you
i didn't understand why you had to go
you never told me

you were leaving for Vienna
and you said you were protecting me from you
you were preventing me from dying

but i was still trying to steal the dying day

the coldness of your smile
the empty look on your face
something was wrong, you were already gone

the train pulled in
you slid in casually
you didn't turn to catch one last look

that was our goodbye
you never came back

Blood Rose

the cold war
the war just rages silently
against the shadow
and the light

it affects us mentally
and it creates a border
all of us are separated

and once we meet
in broad daylight
we pass each other silently
but in the stillness
one of us has lost

everyday is just a false pretence
an act
all of us are fake
our smiles, our laughter

the matter never rests
our feelings towards each other
will always remain the same

and what is that something we are fighting for?
it's something out of reach
that we are reaching for
something that tears us apart

the rose sheds the final drop of blood among us
the battle has lost
my soul is gone

but we still meet admist broad daylight
the battle still hasn't ended
but the rose we were fighting for
has lost its blood

Emotions (Breathing)

you turn, i turn, i smile, you smile, you run, i fall...

(inhale)
cherry blossoms drift simply down
the world passes by bleakly
i can't think

my heart is shattering
you are cutting me slowly, but surely
im falling

hopes rising
i look across

you turn
we stare at each other
awkward silence between us

i force a smile
my hopes are falling
i look tensely back at you
anticipation tingles my skin

you stare coldly
not knowing what to do
then a forced smile comes

you should not have smiled
seeing you force a smile
is worse than you not looking at me

then you turn and run
im clenching my fist
im worn out

can my heart break any further?

im starting to miss you
i miss looking into the ebony black eyes
i miss your voice

i turn, knowing my heart won't follow
(exhale)

Evergreen

the sea
always changing colour
in different shades of sunlight
and as moonlight shines at night
its pitch black

the sky
always changing colour
in the early dawn it's a light shade of peach
the sky is blue on a cloudless day
entirely grey on a rainy day
black at night

the land
always changing colour
it could have been green with grass
and now it's just a desert of orange sand
and in winter
the floor is carpeted white

the trees
most of them change colour
in fall the leaves turn red and gold
drifting down to the floor

the evergreens
always in a shade of green

Anticipation

heart felt leaps
i stumble but pick myself up
and im waiting

something inside me jumps
my heart hammers painfully against my chest
my cheeks are turning from peach to pale

my palms are sweaty
they are clammed tightly shut
my nails are painfully digging into the flesh

two feelings combined into one
hope and worry
but i still look longingly

i feel my stomach drop
something inside me is stirring
im still waiting

how long does anticipation take?

Yellow Twilight

twilight

a bewitching hour
unfolding the dawn

but dawn hasn't come

a moonless twilight
silence pierces through the air
every corner you turn to
is pitch black

a very bewitching hour

every alley you turn to
there's always more than what meets the eye

the twilight is like a dream
it turns your nightmares into reality
it turns black to yellow

a few stars twinkle above
the darkness haunts the streets
the yellow twilight behind

dawn hasn't come

the bewitching hour still hanging loose
no one lingers in the streets
everywhere is pitch black

no wind breezes through the streets
it's the stillest of nights

and the yellow twilight still lingers
but the dawn has come

Light Frost

the darkest winter

vines don't shoot up
it's the winter soltice

the darkest winter night

everything is still
the lake's water is frozen
the slender moon pale against the dark blanket

stars sprinkled across the sky
the tinest light from the moon
the stars add the slightest movement of the world

the darkest winter
the wind blows cold above the chimmney tops
no one is awake

the darkest mist
envelops the scenery

the darkest frost
but the moon shines on it

the lightest frost
winter is ending

Sky and Wind (Blue and Silver Grey)

the sky meets the land
far across the ocean
the wind has begun to roll the waves

above everything
the blue sky hovers
clouds rolling over the blue patch

the sky meets the ocean
and as the sun sets
the line is gone

the wind twirls from the sky
down to the earth
it gracefully touches the ground
and begins the destruction

while the innocent blue sky
turns to an angry grey
bolts of light streak down to earth
the sky is angry

and so is the wind

and everything is still
everything is gone
but far off in the distance
the rolling of waves can be heard

Transparent Glass

misty breath forms
on the glass window
she places her hands
next to her face
she looks longingly inside

it's cold inside
he drapes his sweater over him
and walks slowly to the glass
he looks directly at her

the glass from the outside is cold
her hands feel numb from the cold
but her stomach feels warm

inside is extremely cold
the aircon is blasting
everyone inside is enjoying themselves though
but he isn't

stardust is in his hair
his mouth has drops of water
his eyes are watery blue
she stares longingly into those eyes

he looks at her chestnut hair
her hazel eyes reflect longing
she looks so small and helpless

he goes out
her eyes follow
gently taking her arm
he leads her into the party
both of them go, not looking back

the transparent glass has their hand markings

Summer and Autumn (Yellow and Brown)

Life
a gift, a miracle

the smallest vine
pushes its way up
a new life

Summer
a season
the sun shines down
mercilessly
the clouds do its job
it blocks the sun
but not for long

and the days go by

Summer
all in bloom

but its ending
very soon

and the summer fades slowly

the days get shorter and colder
the sun isn't so hot anymore

leaves of crimson and yellow
all drift to the forest floor
apples sprawled across the ground
all ripe and juicy

Autumn
a cooler season
leaves all change
into different shades
of the sunset

and the crimson leaves turn brown
they lie on the ground
till there isn't any life in them

Autumn
fading fast

all the trees are bare
except for one
it holds the last leaf of the autumn

the wind blows
the branch breaks
the leaf drifts down

Autumn
it cries and sighs in remorse
all the leaves are gone
it fades away

and winter sets in

Black Queen of Hearts

life is a clock
we can reverse time
to undo our wrongs

and for that, life's perfect

until the day the clock stops
it is at midnight

but time still goes on
without the clock
we can't reverse time anymore

life was once a clock

before the clock stopped
i briefly remember playing a card game
i had cheated

the last card i had touched
was the black queen of hearts
i had won the game

but not the battle of mind

when life was a clock
i didn't bother going back
correcting my mistakes
i always thought i could reverse time
anytime i wanted

but i was wrong

and it was 11.45pm
i made up my mind

i was about to reverse my life
when the clock striked 12pm
i couldn't go back

i never corrected my card game
and i never touched the black queen of hearts
ever again

that was my last mistake
before the clock stopped
something which time can't heal

The Cold Light of the Day

you sprint before it catches you
in the cold light of the day
everything is watching you
everything can see you

and the world follows
silently behind you
but it's behind you
not in front

as you are sprinting away
you are moving closer
to something
that puts the world behind you

you can't hide at night

but you rest at night
from your running
and the enemy catches you

but you tell yourself you are in a dream
and the next morning
you are living in that dream
of the enemy who hasn't caught you
no wonder the day light is so cold

and it's true
you can't tell the difference
between fantasy and reality

Silence of the Wind

it hits like a tornado hits
without warning, without caution
and just as suddenly as it began
it stops
you step back to inspect the damage

the wind tears through the country side
moving one mountain and the next
but the next day everything is gone
the mountains have all fallen

and just when you think
the wind is gone
it comes tearing through your life
just like a destroyer
it destroys your happiness
your life

the wind silences the world
they stare in disbelief at the damage
and watch the wind in the distance
twirling away

and now
the wind has gone
you sit by me
as the two of us stare at the damage
through the ebony blackness of the sky
the crescent pierces the darkness

and no one speaks
the silence begins again

Silver Against Time

and here we are standing
at this place that we've known before
where the sands of time run through
memories linking our past in here

all of us are holding hands
silver outlined faintly against gold
a choir of angels sings quietly above
we just stand in remorse

laughing and crying
darkness and light
death and life
all found here

this place where the waters of time pass
but time stops here
no one has named this place
its just a quiet haven

our hands are still linked
the choir's voice has faded
the rushing of air takes its place
the sands of time is blown away
the waters of time frozen

and time stops for eternity
whats left is the silver
trapped against time

Slate Blue

the day is fading once again
another uneventful day
but you have stolen my heart again
taken it from its place

the last glimmer of the sun
glimmering over the water
sitting here near the ocean
my t-shirt and jeans are damp
all i can see is you

the clouds have turned from white to grey
sunset has come at last
the battle is won my soul is gone
with all the things you said

and the battle between the mind and heart
just continues like a war raging
regions in my heart still untamed
has my heart stopped beating?

and the day is fading once again
just like a strand in the wind
water bites at my jeans
you've captured my heart again

Note on Elbony Black

its about a small boy, no more than 5, who was lost in the woods. but he was brought up so well by his parents he was aware of the danger around him and what he had to do without his eyesight. he used his other senses to get him home. he knew how to get across the river and how to recognise the floor he was on. and most importantly, he knew who his mother was. i hope all of you get the message...

Elbony Black

and wandering deeper and deeper into the night, he stumbled across rocks and twigs. the night was a blindfold. testing his eyesight, he put his hand in front of his face and waved it.

all he saw was the blackness of the night and felt the air circulating around him.

by the texture of the ground, he knew he was on some kind of forest.

he couldnt see anything, so he had to use his other senses.

stumbling and groping around, he made his way across the uneven ground. the blackness stretched endlessly, from below to above.

suddenly, he stopped. he heard water. it was very nearby. the water was rushing very very fast. it was a waterfall. he was near a waterfall.

he went down on his hands and knees and felt for the water. a cold splash hit one of his hands. he knew he couldnt wade in the water; the currents would sweep him away.

his hands groped till they came across a log. it was thick enough. he slowly sprawled his body on the log, got on his hands and knees and started crawling. fast.

and before he knew it, he was on the other side.

the floor felt different. it felt faintly familiar. he felt he knew the way from there onwards. confidently, he walked on.

a bright light shone ahead. he sprinted happily across.

and fell into the arms of his mother.

The Lightest shade of Blue

today was a very ordinary day.

at lunch all the gals went to the hall and DANCED. most of us were pathetic at dancing. but a lot of us were so we didnt mind. the best among us was probably nicole.

nothing else happened today besides that. how'd you like my previous blog? its good right? the meaning... you hafta discover for yourself. haha.

dinner now. will have to blog later.

From Grey to White

and what if
the sun didn't come out today
would i still see you
the way i do now?
or would you just be my shadow?

and what if
all of us wore masks
and even if i knew you
inside out
would i still see you the way i do now?
or would i just see your mask?

and if we could only look at a person
from the back
would my view of your back
be different from the front?
or will i just see another you?

or maybe one day
when i look back and see my shadow is gone
would i see you behind me blocking the sun?

and if you were to see me
just across from the room
would i be the same
if you looked at me up close?

and maybe if the moon comes crashing down on us
we would still see each other
but our faces would be taunt with terror
trying to run away from the disaster

and now im looking at you and you at me
the faces we know so well
will there ever come a day
you won't recognise me anymore?

Redish Pink

another usual and boring day at school today.

english was fun... i loved Iain's story. hahas... im never eating ang ku kuahs ever again!

english class was the best; the class exchanged each other's story and read it. Ms Dana was randomly switching around the stories. Zach got my mystery story. I was passing mine to Alister and she just took it away. hahas.

Alister's 1 was average. it has a storyline, but its scattered here and there. Jodie's ghost story was good. I didn't quite like her mystery story. a bit too... weird. hahas!

and mine? hmmm... better than Alister's I think. Ewan's story was more or less the same to Iain's, just that his didn't involve ang ku kuah offerings. haha.

our rehearsal went ok. I love scene 5. it's the best man! scene 3 (where Jodie and Alister "fall in love") was also pretty good. the grade 8s and 9s were helping us along too.

and finally, piano. I didn't really have the patience for it, but hey, i moved on to the last song of the book!

Jodie, if you ever read this, cheer me on!

today im in a pretty wild mood anyways... just to warn all of you. just feeling high... and happy.

i'll try and blog anyways.

White

im really bored now.

and numb.

im still online. hah! big news! i wrote 915 words for my mystery in a bag story!

hah, alister. I BEAT YOU!!

and i think i beat so many other people.

my first story i wrote when i was 8+ was like... 100words long. i still keep it in my treasure box. haha. look where im now.

progressing to be a "pro" at writing.

ok i know my ego's high. sorry.

im going for mass pretty soon anyways. im sorry about posting and blogging so many times this weekend but im bored lah.

im having a headache now. a bad one.

school tomorrow. luckily tomorrow isn't wednesday. i'll die if it was.

coz we'd have GEOG.

and most of the sjii people hate geog lessons.

orllie your language in your blog is very unlike you when you are in school leh.

i was reading your posts. they are done in a very... leh lor lah way. the 3 Ls.

usually in school, the 3 Ls are Liz, Louisa and Liane (me). haha. as people call us.

but me and Louisa aren't really close to Liz.

But its nice being part of the L gang.

supposedly the 3 hottest gals in grade 7. and i totally disagree. please count me out of this L thingy.

jeez... why am i blogging about this?? anyways sorry... my ego is soaring today.

i dunno why. dont ask me.

bored.

i'll dress in all my attires to decide what to wear for church. haha.

including the ear rings and shoes and rings.

im mad today.

Earth Brown

im so bored now... i've finished my english homework already. my mum's nagging at my sister in the background. ok, ignore that statement.

im currently waiting for alister to finish with his...

found a picture of the sunrise. nice huh?

guys, read the pit and the pendulum for me please. i dont understand what the hell that guy was doing in that prison cell.

and i dont have the patience to read it anyways.

that guy was describing his illness on 4 pages. 4 pages... who'd have the patience to read 4 pages of illness? count me out for this.

not many people are online... boy im bored. really bored.

and there's school tomorrow... yawn...

hope louisa replied my email.

MY EMAIL INBOX! I HAVENT CHECKED MY GMAIL FOR AGES!!!!!

better check now.

Through It All

this post is dedicated to my 5 best friends: claris, alister, louisa, jodie and nicole.

memories frozen in time
fall onto my lap like leaves
memories frozen in time
gathering around me
it ties me to all those times
where we stuck by each other
through thick or thin
my heart's locked room
is burst open with these memories
all good and bad
but they don't really matter
what matters is
we still have each other's hearts
locked into our own hearts

Light Grey

darn... we have so much english homework! i hate ms dana...

anyways i went for catechism just now. now im online, doing work and blogging. and sniffing too: i have a really bad cold...

im so tired now. and hungry. jeez... and i just had lunch...

like the new picture i did up on my blog?? the sunset one. i'll find a sunrise one soon...

and do my poll please. it'll close faster than you think so... arrrh just do it!

ok i think i'd better start on my english now. correction: continue on my english. arrgh... i hate ms dana... (is mr ananraj any better??)

Thunder Black

im really pissed now.

some people just don't learn.

but for eras, it has been like that.

from the beginning of time, people have started the art of lying.

the definition of lying: telling stuff completely different from the subject a person has told you.

and secrets are supposed to be kept.

and people twist and turn the truth until its like you are the 1 to blame or the person in the opposite party is.

and cads. or playboys. they all exist. all those close friends of mine should know who im refering to.

arrgh... im still so freaking pissed.

when i say freaking, i mean totally. frigging is only semi.

ok i guess im going soon.

Maroon

im now at my parent's friend's place. my parent's friend was kind enough to lend me his labtop.

and that stupid idiot hasn't come online yet.

dinner was boring. mainly adult talk.

i was yawning whenever they changed subject.

and before i knew it... BOOM... they were talking about us generation.

mainly complaining about how fast we were. like doing stuff they did when they were 17.

cant blame us. we are the mordernised version of their old 1.

without us, ipods wouldnt have been invented. ok fine, they would have been. but the ipod shops would have to close down after 1 month.

their ipods wouldnt really have ben sold. mainly, parents buy it for their kids.

thank us, the apple shop that sells ipods.

anyways i have nothing more to post about.

comment on my blogs.

my cbox refuses to be set up. sigh...

Rush of Yellow

i'll be going out tonight as i stated in my earlier blog. please take note of that.

mainly refering to claris and louisa.

and ALISTER.

please guys, try to stay up till 11+?? i'll be online about that time, hopefully.

oops, my dad's here. and lemme tell you 1 thing: he's very impatient.

which means i gotta go now.

Sunlit Bronze

i just returned from raffles city. bought a new handphone keychain there.

anyways, at the bottom of my blog is a short passage on memories. someone asked me if i had taken it from a book or done it myself.

answer is that i created it. nice huh?

got it from chris' blog.

but its still very original.

ok errr... nothing much to blog about actually. except to those who have my msn. i wont be coming on tonight coz my mum is dragging me to 1 of her good friend's place. where we are eating dinner with adults.

good news is the dinner is absolutely SIBLING FREE.

hey thats really good news k? for those siblingless people or people with older siblings.

no offence, by the way.

anyways i'll be updating my blog later.

Deep Hazel

i've decided something for my blog titles. whatever mood im feeling, i find a colour to describe my mood. unless i have a great title in mind that doesn't involve colours.

ok its abit early in the day to blog much. mainly, my whole morning consisted of watching tv. i was watching some lame shows on kids central, actually. something like pretty cure, winx club and some other childish shows.

i didnt have anything better to do, like i said.

then i listened to music. kelly clarkson mainly. and jewel and avril lavigne.

then after yawning, i came straight here to blog.

so... my cbox should be up by tuesday. post me a comment if i forget please.