First Time

people this is for my giver project. lemme know your thoughts on this. thankya.

seeping into a darker world
water fills your chest and lungs
and you feel ready to burst

i've always liked serenity
(who doesnt?)

and innocence
something i've wanted to keep
but thrown away instead

or maybe lost

and lying face down
rush of air
strength in the wind
all is still

except for a new feeling
creeping in my chest
feeling ready to burst

suffering

and i've lost my innocence

slowly
i crawl back and try and grasp the feeling
of how its like not to know this
not to know anything

except i just crawl deeper
grasping truth

for the first time
life's a pain
not worth living

seeing through the darkness of the maze
i struggle
yet the journey seems easier

i struggle a little bit more

Ages

and the visible become invisible again

down the line of age
charmed lives
lies; paybacks; winning; destroying
the ultimate losers

and somewhere in between
screams cease to sobbing
and somewhere in the stillness of silence
the line has snapped

age stops

cautiously
you creep your way out of the fallout
and the parking lot is deserted

cuz friendship was such a long time ago
ages ago, maybe
thin, fragile, snapped, broken
piled into one

and out from the ages
comes time
that never stops
seeping out from the faults of age
just like magma from the earth's core

and the sobbing ceases to silence

cuz somewhere along the line of age
something has snapped
creating a fault

jealousy

the invisible just remain invisible
as though they dont exist

Always

im a little too quiet for the world
a little too complex for you
a bit too scared for myself

and all of us are here
waiting; praying; hoping; listening
with all our different needs
and im waiting for you to come back
to come back home

as in the darkness of this world
im screaming out;
in the darkness of this world
i find you

and all of us
a bit too young to do anything
a bit too old to just sit and watch

im still curled up, waiting

while eternity burns
telling us to let go

you come to me like a piece of summer
and i always hope it will last

and the way you stand up to your fears
im proud of you
i always have been
i always will be

but how long is always?

20 Years

the person who reads this should know who he/she is.

20 years down the road
when you next see me
you'll be laughing and crying

just like rediscovering paradise

*

bolder now
the sky in between crackles
the wind washes the wounds away

scars remain
a remembrance of the pain

Fire/Water

i watched him lie still
silently, confused
drinking the silence in

and it kills me

all the silence is looked after for
but it doesn't care

confusion, anger
all wanting to leak out

but it wont

we take separate paths
you leave for the airport
i cross over a bridge

you're gone
am i gone?

after 20 years
the tap leaks
the pipe bursts

all the emotions freely let out

missing out on the past few years
and time cant be reversed

20 years from now
you'll run to me
laughing and crying at once
as though rediscovering paradice
time will stop still

the meet of 2 long lost friends

while painful memories still remain:
the flight, the silence, the cruxifix, the CD, the poems, the car crash
all too deep
to bury the hachet

the happiness lasts

In Deep Blue, Autumn

and i watched you as you flew
deep within your blue
your heart is sharded now
so i cant keep my vow

we are breaking up
and im still giving up

im giving up, giving up, giving up

like a song of lost hopes
autumn lasts and jokes
deep inside i pray
that the autumn leaves would stay, stay with me... me... me...

collage of poems

these poems im putting down are not written by me. all these poems are my favourites. this is also to help me for my english exam preparation. =D

PENANCE
time to go back and read it all again,
whitting out the words you understand
till nothing else is visible but this:

shamefaced; gospel; predent; inexact;
patrimony; silence; coup d'etat

time to refuse your fifteen minutes of fame,
the prize you've already won, but can never accept,
the small-print on the deed, the no-claims bonus

out in the dark, in the cold, in a glimmer of snow,
something you never expected returns to bear witness:
a shadow; a phantom; your double; or something else

that looks at you, or world, if you were there
come to unravel the ghost of a burnt-out fire,
and raking through clinker and ash, to recover a heartbeat

*i like the way John Burnside ended this poem. it ends with a mysterious feel and a question mark*

I WATCH THE STARS GO OUT
perhaps love
is a view of stars
through the telescope of years
now aged,
no longer uncommitted
in chosen places,
nor fearful
of that strident moment
when light explodes
into a million shards of heart.

*i like poems that dont have people in it. and it describes feelings through the world around us. Felix Chong described love and heartbreaks through the stars, and the view of the stars from telescopes*

(title unknown)
morning minnowing
fishing in the afternoon
so the day was spent

three quarters buried
in the blue sand of the sky
late afternoon moon

outside the window
a walk went by its way
to the bay all day

two old mooring stakes
wait for their long vanished boat
to tie up again

*this poem depicks the scene of the sea, casualty, a normal day. though i've read it since the beginning of the year, i still dont understand what feeling the poet is trying to tell through this poem*

More Than Words

thats all i ask of you
pull out a piece of the sky for me
and make me see beyond angel eyes

make me feel

and i'll be waiting

Crossing Boundaries

i lie still
solid pavement, rocky edges
cutting my skin

and drops of rain from morning
evaporates from my mouth
just two drops

and i lie still

i get up

and i cross over

and i lie still
soft grass, insects
bees

butterflies

crossing me
and i cant think

and i get up
and cross

i lay still
cold water, rush of wind
submerging deep
wrapped with the algae

my mind's a blur

and i get up, shake off the water

i cross over

i lay still
grapevines hanging loose
snakes coiling
trees whispering
me crying

i cant think

Indistinct Change

fishing in the creek
soaking in the sun
and the day was gone

cracks in the roof
holes in the gutter
and time goes by
as sunlight shafts through
from different angles

and all that has been done
thrown away; ill spent; wasted
gone from your memory

and the atmosphere changes
a friend gone
a piece of heart lost
days shattered

all those little things
unappreciated, till too late

maybe we could forget change
forget everything
and everyone
and just watch the world go by

but a friend gone
you could still go by the creek
and play with the fishes

things are far from same

but as you watch the world go by
the rain seeps through the hole in your roof

and the last memories gone

fishing in the creek
crying in the rain
another day gone
ill spent