Unwinding Cable Car

emotive unstable
you're like an unwinding cable car
listening for voices
but its the choices that make us who we are
go your own way
even seasons have changed
just burn those new leaves over
so self absorbed
you seem to ignore the prayers that have already come about

this is the correlation
of salvation and love
dont drop your arms
i'll guard your heart
with quiet words i'll lead you on

backing away from the problem of pain
you've never had a home
you've been misguided
you're hiding in shadows for so very long
dont you believe
that you've been deceived
that you're no better than
the hair in your eyes
it never disguise
what you're really thinking of

this is the correlation
of salvation and love
dont drop your arms
i'll guard your heart
with quiet words i'll lead you on

Watership

i thought i'd seen it all before.
beside a streetlamp; cold as ice.
clinging on its four feet; a rat. i looked at it
for a full minute.
it scrambled off.
i stood out for a while, trying to understand
the strange texture of this place.
jagged waters, brilliant moonbeams.
everything was electrified, intensified.
he led me by the hand, slowly winding his fingers through mine.
tingling, river sharp senses. i felt together,
yet alone. i didnt know where i was going.
i didnt even know where i was.
who are you? i had asked, my heart a strange sense of wariness.
i am Winter, you reply, your lips a faint touch of a snow drop.

Stare You Down

because i couldnt find you in a single step
i retreat

because the world wont wait for us
i admit

because i thought you were gone
i forget

because there wasnt a silver lining
i regret

because i wanted you so badly
i reminisce

now i look back and miss you
i forgive

Warning

3 o'clock in the morning
clothes flapping in the wind
late afternoon sun

edgy cracking above the ledge
north wind of the moor
we're tied up against this place

two invisible rising stakes
waiting for atmospheric pressure
to dampen again

8 o'clock in the evening
red skies in front of our eyes
shepherd's delight

Dismental

i swear i've heard your name
a thousand times before
lost in echoing depths of my mind
empty decks of ocean beached upon the shore

rumbling like distant thunder
i cry like the rain
the stranger is me

running on shallow empty
twilight of faded memories
coming back to haunt me
in places i've never known before

im one of the many faces
hidden behind masks
faces of safe contempt in large crowds
lost in a sea of my own confusion
you would see me as ordinary
i would see me as gone

but there was never an honest word
seas of faces and crowded images
sandy features and messed up paint
dripping from side to side with wetness
from the flooding rain of my memory
erasing you, others, everyone, me
away, away
away from this room in my soul
disfiguring names and faces
configuring emptiness

bright city lights
they surround me
i slowly learn how to breathe

I wake up.

El Inicio

burning live wires down my throat

steady your breathing;

here it comes again.

Dissolve

living and breathing happy endings
just a dream away
from where we started
like taking a coin
and tossing it up in the air
only to watch it fall back down
and catch it again
back to square one
where things stay somewhat the same
but lay there differently
like the toss had changed it whole
rush of air meeting with one side
force on the other
all slowly coming down to a standstill
the beginning
thats all we need to know
because in the end
we'll always return to where we started;
nothingness

i somehow found you again
cracks of easy steps
round crooked bends and up broken ledges
where i've become my own stranger
but when i did find you
vast oceans stood roaring between us
waves drowned my cries towards you
carrying my voice far out into the wild
and when my last breath was used
you still had not turned
so i stood my ground
and the oceans turned to mountains
mountains to grassland
grassland to deserts
and you never heard me
for a second i felt so free
and i fell through the cracklines of the neverchanging distance
i had already lost myself

Love Is The Greatest Illusion

we are two cars colliding
heading different ways
we are sidewalks and road signs
a perfect company
we are beaches and traffic
looming, intertwined
we are two foreign languages
conversing with a flame

we are two hills of snow and sand
caving in to sink
we are faces of love and shame
no compatibility
we are stars, we are sunrise
together in the sky
we build bridges and burn rivers
scalding the ones we love

"I Love You"

many things i will never understand
when we feel as if valleys are forming
where there once was green flat land
mountains and hard stones conforming

many things i will not know
when rivers flow past us at such a speed
which pushes us to follow
that never showed a need

some things i try to learn
how you make the sun dance and sing
and at the end of the day i yearn
for the music only you can bring

something i cant live without
you are like an oxygen supply
and waiting for rain in hopeless drought
just when i think i can fly

and soon this world goes too soon
and it finally collapses all around me
i hear you tell me what you said last june
that made me all i wanted to be

Sonnet 713

as it begins again, slowly reeling
walking in the misty light of the day
was where i heard the passing of healing
touching my face, rested upon to lay
the unsaid truths that the world is cast on
slowly fading away; too soon to see
or touch or realise that it has been gone
and it was receeding away to be
once again lost in the unreeling mourn
a small ripple from the mess of my mind
that had become softer than the moonlight
which so often appears too hard to find
through a web of silhouettes in the night
and i walked through the never-ending road
of events that seem bigger than my load.

Separation Ocean

well, look who's dying now
when you told me everything was

and miles across shoreline
the faultline cracked beneath me
and you told me time will catch up

showing me all around
the blackened illusion of
mid-west skies and my sleepless mondays

but you told me
that love is the greatest illusion
we pretended not to see

well, look who's dying now
when i told you everything was

when i didnt know how to love you anymore









i dont know how to live without you anymore

Scream

searching for answers
in the most unexpected obvious places
is just what he needs
staying at home to find
a way in the increasingly confusing
images he passed

because she was too familiar
and somehow among the dunes
he had stumbled across her footsteps before
stumbling after something
he tried so hard to hide

leaving the only place he knew
is something that may happen
when she took him for that wild ride
of unexpected fantasy and dreams
that led him nowhere

and now he's trying to find
his way back home
and he's trying to figure out
exactly what she is
and exactly what she means
while she knows exactly what she's doing

in a thistle that is caught in her own lies

Lines

centuries fold away, certain like waves
never changing shapes of shorelines; calmness
highlighting days gone by; sung within caves
of elevating thoughts: breathing sweetness.
i'd settle myself before the sunset
to glimpse at the sun i have never seen.
days turn cold, nights unreeling stuck on nets
there was only you; oh where have you been
as i search down vast crevices of cold
looking for even words to replace you
hiding in places where my heart was sold
i never realised what i had to do;
if my words soared as high as the heavens
as night reaches me, sunsets at seven.

Hello

i feel.
supposedly happy.
thats how im supposed to feel.
what do i really feel?
i dont know.
because i already know
that sinking iceberg
has just reached the bottom
and i might drown.
im happy supposedly.
or at least i try to be.
sinking and floating and tipping
all at the same time.
There. Are. No. Words. For. This.

Look Back

months written in
and gone like years flew by
steady with every pulse
that gives way underground

and finds us trapped in oblivion
all the silent stones around us
pleading for signs of dignity
and not to be crushed and buried

though we may not be strong
we are gullible and frail
all around us might give way
any second, to what

we'll never know
from deep under the crystal waters
we still try to make our way through
and while keeping pace with our breathing
i looked down

long edges of clocks
fighting waves of time

Lucid Dreaming

and there was
a ringing in my ear
which of silence
offended the golden bells

in that of disorder
a gentle calm filled my soul
and taken a place
where my crossroads meet

you were everything
i ever imagined
everything i could possibly
have, have it all

and there was
the running made walking
pacing and fast
never pausing, never resting

in that of calmness
somewhere lost in my mind
but there have been
traces of you throughout

you were everything
you are everything
i could possibly need
and i want it all

Evergreen

it was of the turmoil of the grass
that set loosely on high ends
reeling and unreeling wayward
the movement of unending records

of nights and lights so strong
no one was capable of seeing them
and it was through the progression
that regression of forward
was slowly turned around

with the reeling of the thread
unending pending
with the unreeling of the thread
unending visions
with the reeling of the thread
unending thoughts
with the unreeling of the thread
unending life

Maps

it was her sadness that made her beautiful.
a beautiful multicoloured bud that never bloomed in spring.
her eyes told tales of the sea, her hair the scalded blackness.
in her ears music would ring, bells playing of disorder.
often among the cooling breezes, hard stones were conformed,
twisted and hardened from her sorrow.
and it formed wilderness and was desolate.
wind often takes its place in the plains of sand,
where the sand will whistle and sing
and tell of the sad song that had once ruled over them,
that of loneliness the cypress sings.

Blue

i drag on blue
blue for the autumn
blue for the sunset
blue for the day

blue, blue
it drags along
concrete caved in cement
sidewalks of untouched ugliness
roads of blackened stones

and blue continues
blue in the morning
blue for the warning
blue for the running
blue, blue
mystified, intensified

blue for the evening
blue for the moon
blue for the stars
blue for the sky
blue for the clouds
blue for the hills
blue for the grass
blue for the signs
blue for the storm
blue for the wind

blue, blue
i drag on blue
blue drags me along
along, along loneliness
vast distant lands
no one has ever seen

blue for the vastness
blue for the ugliness
blue for the whole world

i single out a point in the sky
and name it blue

Them

there is a drop
waiting for us
where victims would feel
like they are falling
down, in this way

and soon enough
there is the mass production
of hallucinating historians
among the rubble and gas chambers

now we're looking down at the wreckage
and wish it was wasted on us
but never really knew why
or how it actually felt
to be one of them

The Unreal

my heart is heavy
my mind; wild
and i feel like ive been
carried away

but i dont drift away
but float in doubt
torn and hurt by what you feel
that feeling thats never real

time and time again
when my body feels too weary
i settle back to floating
aimlessly among landscapes
that never ever existed

because in such a place
only you could exist

The Painter

so it goes meandering forever
ever so forlorn
seeking for treasures it cant find
things it has once lost

but they're back again
taunting its memories
playfully grabbing it by the edge
pulling it from slipping back
among vast crevices of sharp cold

and so it sees
but does not really see
thinks it awknowledged
but now, it slips away

and gets in touch with its feelings
a mixture of sadness
a beautiful indescribable blue
that no one else can see

slate blue matches the horizon
elevation of the sky
as the orange tinges
staining the place i call home

Undercurrent

two tides meet
clashing under the moonlight
someone, turn the stars off

for us, for everyone
for everything i've wanted
ever since we contacted

but that moment's gone now
buried beneath the surface
and now, the moonlight cant reach me

so i allow myself to sink
missing the current as it tides
concave, convex, complex

the stars slowly switch on again
and as they get brighter
they explode into shattered pieces

as i bend down on the shore to collect them
and look back at the sea
because ive missed the current again

you'll keep running

bayshore is burning, burning
say a silent prayer
time is falling, falling

hands are shaking, shaking
because it never stops
no one was there, there

no one ever told you, told you
that the running never ends
bayshore is burning, burning

as the wind picked up, up
north wind blowing wayward
time to wake up, wake up

alarm of unending running, run
before they catch up with you
as we all burn, burn

ten feet underground, ground
tell me why the sky's grey
paint it black, black

i love you, you
your feet keep running
mid-light shifts your face
away from me, me

Free

i pull out a piece of sky
to match my heaven
because i never had a taste
of perfection or sanity
everything in this uncertain world
spiralling down to meet me

and its ever so often
in these cold nights of june
where i stop my thoughts mid wave
and pull out a piece of coral
to think about you
while a wild train of thoughts
rumble slowly by us

Lullaby

i sit in stony silence
wondering what he's thinking
while a wild train of thoughts
rumble silently through my head

its all quiet now
and the world sleeps in blissful content
while i lie awake in echoing emptiness

and i wonder all the time
whatever you're thinking of
somewhere far from where i am

my mind wanders through
vast skylands of lowlands
bright skylines of old cities
passing ships of gold

the tracks never seem near to you
wherever my footprints go
yours vanish into the plains
the constant wind sweeping up your path

so i stop
and look around me
i am lost
with no one to follow
with no where to go

i feel the hollowness now

Never Remember

its hard to remember
the things you forgot
when all you've got is gone
to have a taste of perfection
and then you find you're left
without

why dont you tell me why
you left me early
tell me why
you're doing this
tell me why its so easy for you
when i thought you'd find me here

now the things you remember
you shouldn't forget
especially when they seem
further away than they actually are
why are you leaving this
alone

why dont you tell me why
you left too early
tell me why
im feeling this
tell me why its too hard for me
when you thought that i'd forget

oh, tell me why
tell me why i remember
tell me why
i cant seem to forget
tell me why
the bitterness crept in
waiting for its attack

tell me something
tell me something
remind me i forget

dont tell me something
dont tell me something
because soon i will forget

i'll tell you why
i will forget
because your perfection is gone
i'll tell you why
i will forget
because you will never remember
all the reminders falling around you
you'll never remember
why im here
you'll never remember
how much you mean to me
you'll never remember
you'll never remember

you'll never remember us

Flames

and i've learnt;
time to forget, time to live
time to really see

there was a fire in front of us
glowing so brightly before us
but we just never noticed

that our thoughts interfused; intervined
and we felt the same way

as we let the fire rage on
no longer glowing
just harmful

i have the urge to touch it;
to touch you
it as been so very long
since we have been here;
just the two of us

so im going to smile now
because i deserve to

and im going to walk away
because the flames have already burned me

Provoked

silent pictures i paint
round the bends of an empty shipwreck
the wind colouring it grey again

while the water presses me to continue
blue to grey, grey to blue
until my mind is a blur

silent pictures i draw
my time will never be enough
with the wind re-painting the bleak landscape

of all the lost souls
and i wished i fell in love
i dont feel quite at home

as i count the newly drawn ship lights
and croon myself to sleep
edgeless waters pressing me to stay

Salt Lake

you stepped outside
winter breeze in your smile
and typically looked down

among the vast creek of wintertime

and the plains move so slowly
as the night grows old
while you shiver and look down

into the dark underground

its just like you
to never look up at the vast sky
to ever see what is around you

but look down
at the superficial shadows and reflections
of unidentified things

while the valley stirs restlessly
and the wind ripples across the skylit grass;
a wild train of thoughts

near the cold water
as you shiver
and i never found a way there

into the coldness of your mind
of the saltwater lake
the never changing restlessness

Dancing on Air

we danced on air
the whole night through
the stars didnt seem to care

my heart is like
a faucet that leaks slowly
and i run out of oxygen

while we dance on air
the whole night through
the moon seemed to shine

my tangled mind
doesnt know where to go
oxygen supply cutting short
as i fall

and we dance on air
the whole day through
the sun soaring above us

my heart is like
a flightless bird
hesitating at your touch

so we dance on air
as i opened up to ways
ways that didnt seem so hard

Break

i count my breaths
staring at the wall
pointlessly reaching
for something thats not there

a million lights
that light up the room
dimming over time

through the glass that was once transparent
raised against its will
forlorn and helpless

and you stare at me
from the glass
i dont know how long

how long is soon
how long is now
how long is forever

until the autumn dust settles
and we see even clearer than before
restlessly looking for the long-gone sun
that protected our thoughts once

until the glass finally breaks

Paperthin

bitter oblivion;
it stretches
casting the walls thin

because the air is tight
and fighting becomes
a constant struggle;
desperation

while in the midst of
scattered thoughts
connections are still there

winding their way in between
veins that shone like rainbows

while the paperthin walls
slowly fall all around
cemented, vague
deperation rising slowly through

that conformed lenses
concave; convex
moderated

Stolen

and i'll admit
summer balcony
rustling leaves
stinging nettles
i was yours

and i forgave
pain, torture, interference
endurance

and i forget
ways we opened up
ways i loved you
ways you came alive

and i have lied
early morning
that creeps against your skin
stole away
deep into the night;
eternity

and i have learnt
creek by the morning
escape by night
air rushing to meet the sky

left by the burning
exploding in our hearts' black box

Rustling Settle

the morning shines of summer air
misty quivers
and the summer that is the sun

all gently through
and peering through empty gaps
like a curious child
filling spaces in between brokenness

where it was once broken
was now filled
not fixed

and tell us why
the summer air flew all the way
and left us all wondering
of this new sensation

like the tingling of the skin
unpleasant; our long lost touch
of the bitterness that crept in;
ice

we suck in the summer air
now fading
dust settling
tell us why
summer flew by us

like the rustlings
and it settled
not contently
and dwells only in the light
of setting suns

Closing Distances

if thoughts could soar
as far as the west
i would elevate my thoughts
as high as the heavens
and as far as the east

because reaching to you
is as far as i can ever imagine
closer than i can ever get

and i'd settle my thoughts
on the horizon
to catch a glimpse
of the sun i never saw

and everything in this world is temporary
never changing; never fading

because i see sunsets in your eyes
and the never fading rain in your heart

Running

people talk, whisper slowly in my ear
and walk down the streets
they pass, their lonely hearts
cant feel what i feel for you tonight

so i sit here and wait
and i'll run right back to the start
i'll run right back to the start
just to see you again

i dont worry about tomorrow
i just worry about today
if my feelings would change
if i would be

ordinary

like the people
with their empty hearts
stopping to pass me by
stopping to whisper

stopping to feel what i feel

so i sit here and wait
i'll run back to the start
i'll run right back to the start

we're gonna run right back to the start

Balance

if the world keeps spinning
and if im still living
it wont be right if we're not there

but if the world stops spinning
and my heart is hanging there
it will just be me

and if the world kept spinning
and we're both living
we'd be so different;
two separate hearts

but if the world stopped breathing
and if i stopped living
where will you be?

Weave Ivory

curl up your hands
and tighten your grip
whats yours
will never be yours again

because wounds mixed with salt
they heal incompletely

fall in line with your heartbeat faster
i swear i'll keep the pace
fall in line where your heart moves closer
i swear i'll fall with you

keep the ivory in line
weave the ivory till its mine

weave through your heart
till its more complete
completely incomplete

fall in line with the sound of your breathing
i swear i'll follow behind
fall in line to your heart's settling
i swear i'll stay beside you

keep the ivory in line
weave the ivory till its mine

Pieces

it gets so confusing
that i dont know where to turn
where to go
what to say

i've tried
i've tried to move on
tried to cry less
tried to stop loving

but the pieces of my heart will never fit
again