Growing Old

i am a stargazer.

i map out the stars

put it into patterns, formations

stories, guides

bright beams and points of the sky

so that i'll never lose myself.

my eyes reflect the stars.

there's a brightness; twinkle

everyone seems to see.

as i stargaze i wonder

if people could see the map of the stars

reflected in my eyes.

but now i am an astronomer.

calculative, always at the telescope

ready, an eye for change.

the universe is ever-changing.

i feel lost, insignificant.

no one ever says anything about my eyes.

i tried looking for those stars i saw

through those eyes

in that lonely deserted field

with only candy corn and a blanket for company.

those days seem lost in the universe

as if change had come so rapidly.

i tried looking for that field again.

but i was too busy, caught up with work

to notice a new school

had taken its position

blocking my stars in an unfriendly way.

i slung my handbag around my shoulder,

and remembered the crackled comfort of my schoolbag.

Best Friends

we owned the world quietly

rooftops at night

sea by morning

floating in each other's company

and there were people, of course

telling us we resembled

two mated penguins; a pair of mandarin ducks

but we refused to believe

until the day you left

so cold and dry was my mind

cracked along the surface;

damaged in the depths

when would you come back?

so people come and go

not quite you

still in the shallow pits of my aching heart

i longed for you to be found

how great was the day

i ran into your arms again

cool water and rooftop nights remembered

i was floating, floating, floating

i was seeing you with brand new eyes